Saturday, October 23, 2004
gosh! i've ate lotsa food for dinner..yes..i ate my dinner at ten plus? or ten? i'm not v sure..hahah..hmm..had indian rojak..strawbeeri prata( it doesnt taste realli v gd lehz..hmpf)..fish & chips..and yes..i drank dinosaur...hahha..fattening!! those are sinful food!!lolz..seem like i'm going to pray hard ta i'll be able to get out of my bed tmr morning for a jog..hahaha..
todae we had combined cgm..at my hse!!hahaha..hmm..lalala..e msg was indeed powerful, as wat my guardian, joyce, had told mi before she left my hse..hahah..thks lot joyce!!! it had been a real long time since i got myself so engrossed wif the sermon..realli..e content was simply..marvellous, i must say. it's regarding e testing of our faith in e walk wif God... as michelle preached, mani tots filled my mind..hav i been faithful to God? all these while, do i lift my everythin up to Him? do i trust Him? yes? no? though these r all simple questions, i found myself having difficulty answering them. y? in my heart, perhaps e answer is a negative one, and ta i juz dun wan to admit to it!! tis is simply terrible..faith --> patience / perserverance --> hope. yes..i know abt it.. i wan to mature. i wan to experience a breakthru right now!! juz now, i was reading rou xin's blog, and i felt so encouraged by her entries. as i read thur, i recalled wat michelle had prayed for me during cgm. yes, i got to rely on God for everything. i cant juz do things on my own. basicalli coz there's a limit to wat i can handle and achieve. but there's one question in my mind: how do i depend on Him? after being a faithful child of God for 1.5 yrs, i hav yet to know the answer. juz felt real disappointed wif myself. i do not know wat i hav been doing all these while. now in my life, it is a total mess. the devilish temptations kept crashing into my direction. and yes, i remembered ta it is written in the holy Bible ta wateva temptations/tests ta we r going thru now, r wat we can overcome. if not, God would not hav allowed it to happen on our precious lives. yes, i juz hav to take a step of faith n be obedient to God. i realli wan it..but on e other hand, i'm afraid of hurting e pp ard mi. i juz felt so lost..hmm..okie..think ta i shld slp le..coz..it aint earli animore!! furthermore, i hav yet to wash up n do my quiet time!! gosh!!wait for mi!! i'm going to do it now!!hahahh
-my kind of life-
