jus me with God

Sunday, October 30, 2005

My facial expressions can sometimes be masks that cover my inner feelings. What about you?

I may look good on the outside, but it does not mean that I will feel good!

This can be compared to a packet of expired cookies. It may be packaged very beautifully and attractive, but does its appearance necessarily mean that the cookies inside will be nice and still fresh?

I know myself. I have troubles that bother me right from the top of my head (aka mind) to my body (aka heart) and to my legs. What I meant was that the problems that I have right now do make my fearful. And there are times whereby I will tremble.

But, does all these prevent me from putting on a brave front in front of others and appear as though nothing strange has happened in my life? Unfortunately, it does not prevent. I do not want others to know the 'better' side of me. I am, in fact, running away from reality!

For many times, I seem like a repelling magnet; my relationships with the people revolving round my life have been weakened. I do am bothered by all these and am at a loss to as how should I go about handling such problems.

Once again, the problem of insecurity is back again. I am fearful of the world; the strangers whom I passby every single day. I am intimidated by others very often in one way or another. I may just not show it out, but that is exactly how I feel.

I know that no one on earth knows all this except for a Man whose name is Jesus. He is a friend waiting for me to look Him up, opening up my heart and chat with Him. He is the oppsosite pole of my magnet, attracting me to me...

I have ran away, ran and ran..but in the end, I still met Him and cannot help but to stick with Him even closer than before. I love Him and I definitely need more of His presence in my life. Please do a work in my life Jesus..

*He is the answer to my life.. and yours too. Will you run back and be attracted to Him again just like I do?*

-my kind of life-

Saturday, October 29, 2005

How many times can i exactly tell myself non-stop that I do not want to be surrounded by the worldy problems and that I need not actually be bothered by them?

Tell me! How many times!!!!!

Alright, that is not the question that I have been asking you all to answer me yea? =)

School holidays has officially commence and I will use my days to its fullest!

Before I end, I must tell you all that 'Amazing Race' of City Harvest Version is going to begin today for 4 hours!! Wooh!!! Hahs.

-my kind of life-

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Speak to me, tell me all that is revolving in your mind.

YOU! Yes! YOU! Open up your heart and share it with the people around you.

-my kind of life-

Monday, October 24, 2005

Welcome me back people! Hahs!

After disappearing for a couple of days, I am finally back!!! Well, quite a number of events have definitely taken place over this short period of time.

First thing first, I am sick. And this has certainly served as a disadvantage to me at this moment. I do feel uncomfortable due to the endless 'tonnes' of phlegm stuck in my throat and my nose. They're infected for sure!

Preparing my oral presentation for my project work seems easy but in actual fact, there are a number of things which I need to be mindful of. My script seems interesting as I have intended to introduce my group by telling a story! Hmm..hahs!

Next in line is the tonnes of homework that has yet to be completed. I do wonder why I seem to be so inefficient at times! Lols.

It is then followed by me finish watching Hotel Rwanda! It is definitely a show that kept my mind wondering what exactly humanity is in this world. On top on all this, I felt challenged to put myself in the shoes of the main actor protraying as Paul Rusesabagina. Watch the show and you will definitely understand what I am refering to.

The question on whether I will continue to place the interest of the dying and lost before me is definitely worth thinking about.

Last but not least is my usual update on my personal revelations! This came very sudden as it occur in the midst of listening to Pastor Kong's sermon. This simple revelation was made known to me ages ago but it has been erased from my mind since then...

Let's just take a coin as an illustration. Every coin definitely has two sides. This is a simple logic but is there anyone who takes notice on the difference of the two sides and how we can make choices to choose the side that we prefer/want.

Similarly, here I am trying to imply to everyone that every single matter that takes place in our daily lives has two sides. And the two sides are commonly known as the good and the bad side of the matter. If something good happens, it will naturally come into our mind that this matter is good and there doesnt seem to be anything bad about it. This effect is also vice verse!

My dear readers, you all, including me, must understand that for everything that happens, there are always two surfaces whereby we can CHOOSE to look at the matter.

It something good has happen, then choose to look on the positive side that will certainly pull your spirits up! However, if something bad happens, that does not mean that we have to dwell on the dark side and keep mourning! We should instead focus on the better and beneficial part. And turn the whole nature of the matter into something which we and the people around us can view it as positive!

So, why not make a decision today believing that your day(and your dayS) can be great by focusing on the positive side of the things that occur in our life?!?

*My class is watching The Pianist now, and this show has certainly struck provoking thoughts in me!*

-my kind of life-

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Hotel Rwanda here I come!

I longed to watch that particular movie since last year. However due to some results, I gave that show a miss. And guess what? My GP teacher played that movie during our lesson yesterday! Hohs! I cant wait to watch the second part of the show!

The movie is definitely more than what it seems! It certainly got my mind working while watching! I would like to write a review on it if I am able to! Hahs!

-my kind of life-

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Is this width a better one for you guys n gals to read my entries? =)

-my kind of life-

Friday, October 14, 2005

I have tried shortening my paragrahs my dear readers! But it still does not seem to help much once the entries are displayed. Perhaps, the short width of my blogskin is the problem! Hahs.

Listening to Pastor Kong's preaching, I felt so blessed once again. Though I may be attending a make-up service, I nevertheless still felt so at home! The word God has planted into Pastor Kong's mind in sinply a word in season for me!

God never fails to remind me about Him everytime I am straying away from Him. I want to have my vision back! It is no longing me asking God to grab me tight, but me reminding myself to hold God's mighty hands tightly!

As I sat through the service today, two revelations came into my mind.

Very often, many have us have the knowledge of a particular matter. However, that does not imply that we may have understanding on it. So, my very first point is that knowledge =/= understanding. I have emphasised the importance of this logic to many people around me and I, once again would like to re-enforce this.

Knowledge gives us the data and information of a particular subject, however, understanding brings us to a higher level whereby we not only possess the necessary data and information, but are also applying the knowledge in the things that we do.

Let's take for example our foundations in the things that we do in our daily lives. Many of us may know that without a strong foundation, we wont be able to rise up. Refering to a high rise building as a reference, do you think that the building will be as tall as it is without a strong and firm base? If its base is weak, the building would have collapsed the moment the weight exceeds its so called limit!

Same over here, we can apply such a principle in our lives! Be it in the work place or even in schools! In our studies, if we want to score and do well, then we definitely have to get the fundamental knowledge of subjects and let our understanding be clear cut!

In the work places, we can refer to a newly promoted manager as an example. If the manager does not has a clear idea of what has been going on in the company and has been confused about all the job scopes in the company, then he will definitely not be able to get into the 'flow' of the company and may even return to his previous position if he fails to perform well!

In short, without a firm and strong foundation in your life, as you climb higher up, your risk of falling down will increase.

I lost track of my second revelation! But I will just sidetrack a little for this time.

I simply love Pastor Kong's sermon for this week and really want to thank him for bringing me closer to God once again. I want to be someone who will climb up after falling down and someone who will learn from my mistakes!

*My mind's 'alive' again!*

-my kind of life-

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

There are some ocassions whereby I am at a loss to as what kind of decisions I should make. And many times, rejection is the only answer I am able to provide for them. Situations do vary and I am in the midst of thinking about it...

-my kind of life-

Do not worry. My blog are still very personal. =) I have just given a twist in the way I shuld present its content! Hahs.

-my kind of life-

Monday, October 10, 2005

My God is good and He is faithful to me at all times, no matter what kind of situations I am in! I felt so great to have known Him as my only God and Saviour. He is none other than Jesus!

I prayed to Him day and night during my examination period. Fears left me and my heart began to calm down whenever I seek for Him. I asked Him if He could give me the wisdom and strength to sit for my papers. He said okie. Then, I decided to ask for great effieicency when I study, and He promised me. Lastly, I prayed for good results and may all praises be onto Him! He has given to me more than what I have asked for! This is definitely one way of showing His great abundance!

I thank God for scoring a high A for Math, and another A for Chem! Wosh. Though I failed my Physics by just 4 marks, I do not blame Him. Neither do I blame myself for not putting in more effort or anything. But I have arrived to a point of realisation that I failed due to a lack of preparation. And this simply shows that I need to practice more and strengthen my foundation!

And yes! I passed my Chinese! Oh yea, I did remember sharing with a few people that my mind went blank when I saw my Chinese Paper 1(Composition Paper). I looked at the questions and stared at it blankly basically because I do not understand what the compo questions were. I prayed and told God that He had promised to help me. And true indeed, He allowed my ideas to flow so abundantly and so well that I scored... ... .. Ta da! 58/70 marks! It is definitely the highest score I have ever got in my whole lifetime and this is definitely a good testimony because ever since I went to JC, my Chinese teacher has always given me a border line pass for all my compositions! Lols! God is good and good in an abundant way!

Heard from Miss Eleen Tan, my GP tutor, that I passed my paper if she does not remember wrongly. I do certainly pray very hard for it and once again, let me (or us?!?!) all give advance thanks and praise to our almighty Father in heaven!

For many weeks, I have been praying to God that He will mould me and make me into a person whom He wants me to be. I am very grateful to God for placing really loving people and caring people into my life! They have definitely prayed for me and these are the people who have been encouraging me whenever I am worried and am fearful of the things of this world. Thanks lot my dear friends!

These people has spread the love of God to me as I shared God's portion of love in my life with my loved one (basically, everyone around me!). God is good and His goodness is beyond the description I can depict in this blog! =)

-my kind of life-

Every day is a different and new chapter of my life. Life has never been a routine for me whenever I serve God. In my ministry, things just keep changing for me and pushing me into a realm of different job task every single week. It seem so troublesome on the surface but it is more than that. It is challenging! And I look forward to it!

I am preparing myself to flow in the wind of the Holy Spirit!

-my kind of life-

Friday, October 07, 2005

Things are once again spinning in its own realm inside my mind...

It is true that there are certain things that are beyond the control of man but, it doubt this statement applies when I have my God almighty staying by my side and watching over me.

Physical things which I need in my life and are beyond my reach were given to me upon my prayer request. However, I want to go a step deeper and ask for an impact in the lives of the people around me. They are more than my cell group members and the friends whom I hang out with; they are my family members.

Yes, though my sister and mother are both Christians, I do ponder over certain matters at times and it kept my heart feeling burden.

Teenagers will somewhat show signs of rebellion at their age but, there definitely are ways to handle these signs wisely. The question comes in the part how? How do we know the ways and methods to go about responding those signs? Well, most people handle subsequent experiences with troubled youths based on their experience and previous encounters with the teenagers they came across. However, I believe that close to 95% of the 'counsellors' only got to know how to handle their first 'case' after thinking through the situation thoroughly and after listing down the possible ways to go about dealing those problems detailedly. The problems come when people start to brainstorm about the methods and think about the best method.

How? How? and more Hows!! For me, I will seek God and depend on Him to work the way out for me. And now, I am preparing for that! What are your solutions to solving the many how questions?

-my kind of life-

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

What does having joy in your life means? Does your joy (aka happiness) comes from the people around you? Or does it come from the material possessions that you have? Or does your joy comes along with your daily mood?

When I was much younger, my only joy came from my material possessions. As I got older and went to upper secondary level, my joy seemed to be based on the people around me. But, life's ever changing. And slowly, I seem to have shortened out my thinkings and came to a conclusion that my joy in life is based on the abrreviations of JOY. Now, it has become more than just a conclusion in my life, in fact, it is slowly integrating into my daily life!

Joy simply means:
Jesus
Others before self
You, yourself

For me, when Jesus centralise my life and my heart, I begin to feel my heart being filled up to its brim with God's love and mercy! And it came to me that if I do not share and spread this love in me, God's love will eventually stop filling up my heart in order to prevent 'spilling'! In fact, keeping all the love to myself is more than being lonely as there is not anyone to share your happiness (aka the love that you have received). Keeping everything that you have is in short, selfish.

As I share God's love and spread His love to His children, I do feel God expanding my capacity and filling my heart with an even greater amount of His blessings and promises! So friends, let's all make a promise and commit ourselves to do something that will bless the Lord, the people around us and lastly, ourselves!

*Lost in You alone.. Hearing Your words.. Sharing my heart cries with You..*

-my kind of life-

Monday, October 03, 2005

I praise God for everything! Every single little thing matters! WOOohOO!

I know that this is only the beginning of His goodness! The way He works in our life is beyond my limited imagination!

*Arming up myself for a stronger spiritual warfare!*

-my kind of life-

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Countless events have taken place over the week. God has certainly revealed to me many things which I have never thought of, let alone asking Him for them.

I am glad that He has brought in the light of many matters into my life. Knowing the needs of my cell group members has given me a greater sense of responsiblity and on top of them , I know that God is telling me to lean more towards Him so that He can guide me in changing their lives positively. The blessed feeling of God revealing things suddenly has definitely made me realised how different God works in every situation.

It is more than a coincident that I got to know the lives of four of my cell group members in this week alone! And the most important thing which I want to highlight to you is that God has revealed their lives to me through four different methods! Like what the bible mentions: God moves in a supernatural realm in a new way every time!

I feel that I have definitely a greater sense of accountability for their lives to God. It is only in such (inconvenient) times that God will start to 'push' us to try out new things in our lives. More than that is that we are growing maturely in our walk with Him.

*It is uneasy to feel so stretched in life, but I like it.*

-my kind of life-