Monday, February 28, 2005
here i am...finally online. well, basically my whole network connection broke down. ta simply explains why i hav nt been updating my blog. =)got back my 'o' results not too long ago and am now at bao's hse. s5 will b heading towards harborfront lata on for a gathering. it's so sweet! coz it has been a real real real long time since we sat down n hav a chat.
i am rather disappointed with my results. however, i'm greatful to God that i passed my eng with a b3 grade. personalli speaking, ta is a v great achievement for me coz this is the first time i got a b3 for my eng in my whole sec sch education. not to forget abt my aunt whu came over to my house every two days juz to help me in my eng! yeap. miss karen wong too. =)
For e whole of last week i was in church. i did not regret spending my time over there listening to pastor Ulf's preaching. His mighty teachings helped to renew my mind. the desires i used to hav came back once again! i rmb wat i wan to be and what i wan to do! thks alot to pastor Ulf.
i believe that God has a plan for my life. Little setbacks in life come from the devil. and God allowed that so as to mould our character into His likeness.
no matter wat happen, i'll stand strong and walk on. remain fervert n focused is wat i need. =)
quote of e dae: God has a calling for us.
-my kind of life-
Monday, February 21, 2005
i skipped sch again. cant help it, but sajc juz seem so far away from me(in my heart). i dun realli like ta sch which i find it a lil weird. perhaps, it juz doesnt suit me. =)
juz felt the devil attacking mi now, tis period of time when i'm facing a transition period in my life. i read ENHANCE todae n learnt ta satan will always visit us whenever we're lacking motivation n the energy to do things. frankly speaking, i do feel v v weak in my flesh rite now, nt to forget ta my spirit is also weak. moments of me attempting to break down juz cant b counted wif fingers alone!
the hunger for God juz kepe growing in my heart. i juz need more of Him. i need to draw strength from Him. Howeva, i find it tough. coz i know ta i'm driftin away from Him... i need to return to His side. i need Him by my side, to guide mi in my daily walk on tis planet earth n most imptly, in His wonderful kingdom.
God seemed to renewed my strength n faith aft i prayed to Him juz now. I pushed all my jobs aside n quickly settled down to spend time wif God. basicalli coz i rmb God mentioning in the Bible ta when we seek Him first in His kingdom, all things will b added to us.
True indeed, i blessed mi wif e energy i asked Him for to study for my phy n math tests tmr. i need His wisdom to anoint mi like nv b4. i need Him to answer my prayers, my deeply required ones. my dreams n visions, i need to seek it from Him earnestly.
Reading ENHANCE(Aust. Christian's Mag for Women) realli enriched my life-esp my spiritual one. i juz got to know so much so much. there're juz so mani questions ta i do nt know wat my answer is.. e.g. wat does the hand of the Lord means to u? -pp, ever wonder ta? wat does it mean when u visulise God's hands?-next, how often do u actualli hear God's voice? tis is one qn i left it in my mind. the imptance of hearing God's voice regularly is super duper impt(n urgent!)!
in short, ENHANCE is simply a wonderful mag ta realli spikes up the fire in christians! n it's realli an ncouragin mag. all these r juz as good as our v own Harvest Times! =)
quote of e dae: you'll onli do trusted wif big tasks when u r faithful in accomplishing lil things well. =)
-my kind of life-
Sunday, February 20, 2005
okie. time for a new n bubbly entry! okie, sat was sajc fun fair(campus rampus) n jjc fun fair(love fiesta)! hehe..i went to both. yeap, i left sajc aft i ended my shift at two. left at 230? or somewhere near 3pm ba.hahha..enjoyed myself. took some photos too! but hav yet to upload. i'm juz a lil lazy la! okie, i spent practicalli the whole dae at sajc eating.
next, it's jjc. went there n continued to eat. ate italian ice cream,banana samosa n hotdogs.thks lot to junwei n ya, jasper for the hotdog.hahah..over at sajc, i ate much more. nvm abt ta..hahahah
tink i realli enjoyed myself at jjc though i was there for less than 30mins. met practicalli all my classmates except yongzen n..cant rmb le..hahha..tink i realli got a shock when MISS POO SHUE JUN shouted my name using the mic in e canteen.it was..well, a lil embarrassing.hahha..but i love it! hahaha..had quite a wonderful chat wif shue jun aft...aft..i stopped toking to her due to the lack of time for almost..2 yrs?hahaha
saw jiayi(and also accidentalli took his cap home) n yonglong aft meetin up wif junwei(whu brought mi ard jjc juz in case i wan to go there aft first 3 mths). met xin yu, pat n pj..hehe..well, they gave mi somethin ta thay brought at the fair!! it was so so so sweet of them! hehe..cool!! yippee!!
hmpf..my dad came to fetch mi n ya, i went to eat ice kacang..ate n ate..cant stand it..hahaha..
btw, my daddy blessed my wif a new specs n 6mths' supply of contact lenses!!hahaha..i've got new contacts..basicali coz the degree of my right eye worsen. tink i'll love my new specs to bits! realli..coz e colour is nt red..nt purple...but a mixture of it..so cool!hahahh..yeap, and acuvue contacts!! hehe..i love it!! weeh!
ya, ended up buying ice cream on the way to fetch my mum..and had steamboat at my aunt's hse..well, tink i sat there for close to an hr..juz to keep eating..arg..hahaha..
my hapi moments for sat r all stated up there.. =)
-my kind of life-
reached home nt too long ago. todae's svc was simply great. i do nt know y. but i simply love the presence of gathering wif my cg mates, esp when all of us r in e house of e Lord.
CHC is realli blessed by the presence of God.. the moment svc starts, i could juz feel the entire presence of God fallin onto mi though i was standing outside the auditorium. God is omnipresent. Amen! Serving in dialect church seemed a lil tiring n hectic for mi than usual. simply coz i was wearing slippers(those pp can wear for shoppin yea?) and running all abt e church for e elderly.next i ran across to the market to change $2 notes..than i ran up n down to do my stuff..wosh! though it was super super tiring(plus the hurting pain of my feet), i realli enjoyed myself. e smiles of e elderly n e satisfaction i hav in my life realli brighten my whole life! being together wif my cg mates and church mates realli encourages mi to get into a deeper relationship wif God. wheneva i feel dry in my walk wif God, or when i'm spiritualli lazy, it's my cg mates like felicia, shannon(my cg leader), ray...who help mi to light up my fire for God. In church, pst Kong n Sun realli spur mi on further. it's realli realli great. e job of greeters is v easy. however, i juz feel so nervous n yeap, i hav got no confidence in myself at all! wat is all these coming to? i do nt know y, but nowadaes i juz feel so tired of everythin juz so easy. i no longer appear to b as confident as i used to be. i seem to lose the inner me. every single step i take in my life, i seem to b filled wif doubts. whether it's a correct decision?whether i did it at e rite time?rite place? n etc... Lord, pls guide mi! i seem to find out a few things abt mi tis time round..i nv get nervous when i know ta somethin is abt to happen.i am juz so calm. Howeva, when e thing(eg an event) is abt to happen(let's say..5 mins b4 it all happen)i'll juz start to tremble. wat's wif mi? tell mi!! next, i'm realli an emotional person. i've changed realli alot. i rmb myself as a cold-hearted person in my lower sec daes. however 'emotionaless' i was. now, no no no! i will juz cry ani time.. esp during worship time. i juz feel so weak wheneva i worship to Him. i juz need Him so so so much. i realli cant imagine my life w/o Him.. i will nv know where i'm gg to draw my strength from if i were to leave God.i hate to say tis..but i reali dread gg to sch..it's no longer like b4 when i always look 4ward to it..do i realli hate sajc ta much?or..is it e workload ta's scaring mi?wat is it abt? e sch dismissal hrs?i'm having tests on tues n wed..cant imagine ta..all e topics r chunk together as though everyone wil hav e time to study..as if everyone understand all e stuff..arg!!! tink i've gt quite a bad reputation in sa yea? i'm realli in need to prayers! pls pls pls. pp pls pray for mi! i realli need God to show mi the vision He had planned for mi during tis stage of my life! which jc i shld go? wat i shld do now? i wanna hear from His instructions!
-my kind of life-
Monday, February 14, 2005
hello!! Hapi frenship dae n v.dae to all!
well, real blessed to receive lotsa choco n roses from e pp ard mi. =)
lata at 6pm, i'll b meetin my sec sch mates. though lil pp can make it for e movie, Constantine, i believe ta it'll b still a great gathering for e six of us!
God bless ya!
-my kind of life-
hey peeps, well, i tok to shannon over e phone last nite. had a great tok. toking to her juz seem so great. she has enlightened mi on stuff which i nv gav careful tot n yeap, i got to know her more. it was juz so so so wonderful. at e same time, she was also able to help mi to change for the better.
till now, i'm still pondering over wat we've chatted last nite. true indeed, we shld go for e best when we hav e chance. and yeap, choose e tougher road. there shldnt b ani reason for mi to choose an easier path n nt putting in my best in wateva i do. it juz so so so nt easy.
perhaps, i shld choose another jc aft 1st 3 mths. i agree with wat i heard from my classmates(o5s74) n also, my seniors. they said ta SAJC is nt a wonderful place to study though it's a place where lotsa fun can b found. it's realli realli diff to get settled down n study. Self discipline, n e will e study hard must b there. furthermore, if i were to stay in SAJC, i'l hav to travel to potong pasir next yr. everyhin can b solved if i move to dagu's hse n stay.
met jannah when i left sch at 1245 todae. we travelled to boon lay interchange.on e way, the topic on our struggles in adapting jc life seem to fill our conversation. juz felt so encouraged to b toking to her again. though we r both in sajc, we seldom tok to one another. the chance for us to journey to JP was truly a God's blessing.
i must hang on till e end of 1st three mths. as for whether i will stay in sajc depends alot on my results n nt to forget, if i'm able to adapt to everythin over there by then. i'm still in a dilemma..
thks lot to shannon coz w/o her, i might hav decided to withdraw from sch tis aftnoon.
and next, to yu zhen n rong shan for tagging n letting mi know ta they're there for mi.
and lastly, chze ching. thks lot for being there with mi all e time in sajc, nt to forget luling too. u've always been there to wake mi up during lectures n also, there to acc mi. =)
tink it's realli a transition period, as wat shannon had said, in my life. i gotta b flexible. i dun know wat to say but, tink i still need time. i juz feel so out of place at times. realli praying for God to lift me out of all my burdens. pp, pls pray for mi. xie xie ni.
i do nt hav a quote in my heart todae, but i do hav a song.
song of the dae:
A HEART AFTER YOU
Create in me a new heart
One that follows You
Place in me
A deep desire
To know You as I'm known
Set my feet in Your ways
To live worthy of Your calls
Draw me near to You Lord
Every single day
Chorus:
I just want to be more like You
Walk with You beside me Lord
Wont You be my guide
Place Your heart inside my soul
A heart that's ever true
One ta's after You
-my kind of life-
Sunday, February 13, 2005
i miss all of u!! all my ex tss classmates n schmates. juz felt real great tis week coz i realli realli spent quality time wif my ex-classmates.juz felt the warmth i used to receive from them, e wonderful laughters n jokes of theirs. i'm juz so so so touched by the opportunity God has blessed mi with. tmr's v.dae and i'll b meeting up wif them again for dinner.
went to junwei's hse instead of swimming juz now. when we were abt to leave, i was juz so sad. in my heart, i was tinking when will we get to meet like tis ever again? when will i get the chance to heard their laughters n jokes? when? when? and yeap, e emotional mi juz felt like crying. i dare not cry out coz i was afraid ta i will frighten them. whu knows..my tears started to flow down my cheeks when i boarded 243g home.
i dun wanna deny but i juz feel so left out in jc. there r juz so mani times ta i've been left aside coz my frenz(whom i'm closer with) went off toking to their OG mates. no, i'm nt blaming them for doing ta..perhaps, i'm juz nt putting in extra effort to b a good fren. or perhaps, i'm juz nt a wonderful after taking days n days of medical leave.
i'm trying to best to b whu i realli wan to b. but..the uneasiness i got juz stop mi time n time again. i cant b whu i wanna b.whenever i crap, i juz feel so uncomfortable coz the crowd's no longer e same as before.
i'm all stuck now. e urge to withdraw from sajc juz get stronger each dae. it's now so much ta i juz feel like withdrawing tmr aftnoon. e workload, e diff grp of clique, e uneasiness i hav in sch..they're juz all encouraging mi to leave.. howeva, ODAC n e easy route to uni juz stop mi from leaving. wat do i hav to say now? leave? or nt to leave? i dun knoe. i'm juz so lost..i need someone to tok to...
my mum's aslp..and i realli hope ta i'm able to tok to shannon... realli realli pray ta she'll reply to mi.
quote of the dae: -nil-my mind's blocked for e time being.
-my kind of life-
Friday, February 11, 2005
God is good. He's there whenever we seek Him. the best part abt Him is ta He's omnipresent. Juz feel so blessed and greatful that Jesus had died on e cross for our sins.
todae i had rock climbin for ODAC training. Finalli, it was the date for mi to go. It all wasnt as easy n also, scary as i tot it wld be. u realli need careful planning b4 steeping on each 'rock' and yeap, ur arms gotta b real strong if nt u'll end up like me..staying in mid air every single moment to rest my arms. and yeap, my weak fingers hurted alot. so i totalli hav got no strength to continue. there're juz so mani times when i juz wan to giv up. howeva, the cheering of my team mates n seniors juz kept mi gg. suddenly, i tot to myself, y do i always hav to depend on my own strategy n stength to go abt accomplishing tasks? at ta moment, God came into my mind. i spoke in tongues. it started to calm mi down n realli gave mi gd ways to go abt climbin to e tops. no matter how tire my arms and painful n fingers were, i perservered. Praise be onto the Lord! i reached the top despite countless disappointments! okie, i was 'stuck' in e air for abt 30 to 45 mins.. somehow, it was rather painful.arg!! hahahah
i rushed home aft e session coz i know ta i'm late..late? yeap, my phone's batt was dead n my cg members r waitinf for me at home. seriously speaking, i truly enjoyed myself wif their presence tonite. though there wasnt much conversations betw mi and them, the smiles n laughters they expressed brightened up my mood n realli encouraged mi to serve them wif the food. =)
BERNARD!! okie, i promise to go down to gim mo(okie, i dun know how to spell it..be glad ta it's at least readable! haha) to eat minced meat noodles! hahaha..i'll. trust mi. not tmr, neither will it be next sat coz of my sch fun fair n yeap, perhaps e week aft next yeap? hehe
it feels realli realli great to harvest wateva i've sown over the past yrs. tis yr my red packet money increased by a huge sum. it was realli great! God indeed is a promising God. He promises to giv us ten folds, thirty folds n even a hundred folds in wateva we sow(in book of Mt). nvtheless, i will nt stop sowing coz i know ta there's gonna b a greater harvest ta i'll b receiving. God is true.
Quote of e dae: I love Jesus.
-my kind of life-
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
hello peeps!! hapi chi new yr!! yippee!!
e time now is 0045, 09th feb 05.
had a meaningful dae todae. i spent quality time(in my own pt of view) wif e pp whom i missed n also e pp whom i treasure alot!! one, i met up wif my fellow 4e1 classmates in tss tis morn. had lotsa interestings short coversations n yeap, lotsa photo taking. i realli misses them ALOT!! realli.. i was juz so touched to see them again todae. and yeap, i was juz so glad ta i went ard to hug the gals. tink ta's a realli polite gesture of showing my love to them? e beautiful moments we spent as a class for e past two yrs remain clearly in my mind all e time. i juz miss them. e encouragement the pp gave to mi, e warmth n e laughter too. i cant help it, but to say ta i realli realli misses my sec sch mates ALOT!
sometimes i wonder to myself, "why do we hav to b sepearated always? is it somethin ta's gd or bad? shld i celebrate over it or cry over it?" if i were to tink on e positive side, i wld see tis as an opportunity for my to explore the world, to widen my circle life and of course, to learn new skills n knowledge. however, if i were to dwell on e neg. side, i believe myself blaming everyone for parting us, and yeap, i wld keep on questioning myself a lame qn, i.e. wat can i do to turn back time? or even to stop it?
basicalli, pp do hav to part. but whether frenships will prevail as time passes will b another matter. i read kimberly's nick on msn juz now. it wrote "depth of frenship does nt depend on length of acquaintance". somehow tis gives mi a aftertot ta pp still can remain as close frenz despite decreased period of time spent wif one another.
okie, i juz feel so lonely in my heart. juz a lil unadaptive in sajc..wif the timetable, workload n maybe, e company of some frenz.
as usual, i'm someone whu is afraid of being left alone. i dun like to b alone. i wan someone there to b wif mi all the time. a fren will do, a v close one. i miss the moments i spent wif s5 in sec2.. esp wif xiangying. everythin juz seem to b so wrong betw e both of us. e distance of our frenship juz got further n further every single moment. true indeed, i misses her as much as i miss bao ying(who's in hk now), ade(who i seldom tok to now) and mel(my onli sis-in-christ who's there wif mi no matter wat happen).
no matter how i feel now, i juz feel so much luckier than xinyu's sis whu went to US to study. e absolute loneliness n homesick pro is juz too much for one to handle..esp when her sis is onli one yr older than us. in my heart, xinyu gave mi a whole new impression of her sis as a v strong gal who's able to survive alone out there in a foreign land.
had reunion dinner at my da gu's hse in e evening. tis yr e table is once again crowded. and it was much worse than last yr coz we had a new family member, karen! she's my cousin-in-law. =) though squeezy, i believed ta all of us had enjoyed e dinner. e food was great n e joy of sharing a meal together on e same table juz cant b explained by words alone!!
okie, was 'chased' home by my parents aft e dinner ended. tis yr was totalli diff fm last yr..i reached home rather early. e next few hrs were reserved to spring clean the house. believe it or nt, i somehow cleaned up my room. as usual, i focused on e book shelf only. =) felt rather great ta it's much tidier now(Wif lotsa space for mi to add on more stuff too!!). i also removed the pieces of paper n books on my study table.. hehe..i'm feelin super satisfied wif wat i did to my room.
i love my family n frenz.
quote of the dae: spending quality time wif one another is essential
-my kind of life-
Sunday, February 06, 2005
i juz feel so blessed to b living on tis earth. most imptly is ta i'm roote in S'pore's v own CITY HARVEST CHURCH!! i realli love the House of God. it's e place where i get to know abt God, build a relationship wif God and lastly, a place where it's filled with love n warmth where ya cant find in ani other places!!
todae i got my specially designed steward offering envelopes!! it's juz so nice..there's my gold name on it..wosh! real beautiful!! realli didnt regret waking up early on sun morn juz to listen to Dr. John Avazini's preaching!! Praise the Lord!
todae i attended svc 5 n 6 where pst John Bevere will b preaching..was suppose to attend svc 4 too but couldnt make it coz i've promised to help my dad to polish his car for tis cominog new yr. however, i didnt manage to help him coz..he reached home at ard 1020am..was a lil late ya? hehe..
it's true ta pst John spoke a lil fast. but i tink we juz gotta learn to b more attentive in order to catch e precious words of gold flowing out from his mouth. a powerful man whu realli empower mi wif the knowlegde to getting closer to God. =)
svc 5 n 6 todae were simply marvellous!! juz felt so wonderful to b in e house of God again. Seeing all my sis- n bro-in-christ realli brighten my heart! i dun reali know how to describe my feelings but, it juz great to b in His house praisin Him, worshippin Him, praying to Him, listening to His word, serving Him and lastly, fellowshippin in His house. no matter which part of the church i was in, no matter wat i was doing, i juz felt HIs presence following mi and protecting mi. it's juz all so wonderful!! i simply love my cell group(W210), my tanglin sparks, my ministry mates..they're all so nice to mi! i simple enjoy my sunday wif them! =)
i read a few blogs juz now..got to know wat bao did back in hk..felt a lil sad for her..but bao, if u're reading tis, know ta i'm wif u..it's alrite if he had rejected ya.nahz..nt a gd guy aft all. i'm still e best for ya!! bao bao bao..i miss u juz so much!! wont ya juz come back quickly?!? faster faster..i'm dying of boredom..arg..since i failed to send ya off on thurs, i'll now promise to receive ya back in 18th feb..fri..hopefulli i'll b free..hehe..
okie, tis is for rou fang. hey gal, i read ya blog juz now n tink ya realli need some knida encouragement. i still rmb how ya got mi to stay in ODAC when i tot of quitting and also e laughters ya brought into my life when i was sick n bore..thks lot gal. to mi, ya r juz simply a nice gal to b wif. juz felt ta u need a lil confidence in wateva ya do..and most imptly, look on e brighter side of life. know ta it's a lil tough, but it doesnt mean ta tough = impossible yea? hehe..gal, i'll b here if ya need mi..do update oke? hehe..take care take care!!
lastly, juz a small lil para for sorfian. =) juz felt so encouraged to see him attending svc 4, 5 and 6 wif us todae..realli felt e joy n e party gg on in heaven! true indeed, the bible wrote ta when one lost soul is saved, the heaven will rejoice! yippee! realli glad ta u're back wif us once again. =)
quote of e dae: "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" James 4:8a
-my kind of life-
Friday, February 04, 2005
it's been real long since i updated my blog..abt one week?if i'm nt wrong, tis is e longest 'break' i took. well, pp..esp CHEN SHUYI PATRICIA!! haahah..hehe..i did update it on mon nite..but, some errors cropped up while i was publoshin e post n guess wat? e whole entry was deleted!!and as usual, e lazy mi will nv attempt to rewrite it unless i'm given e chance to type peacefulli. =)
juz an update of my activities during ta period of time ya? hehe..had jc class bbq at sherwyn's(aka my jie mei)house..at bedok west! imagine me staying over there till ard 10pm? arg..by e time i reached home, i was worn out! okie, i actualli uploaded some photos up in my photo webby. so do go n take a look ya?
in sch, we had photo taking, econs test hmm..and..i dun realli rmb much..but i somehow enjoyed sch though i missed sch on wed again.it's rather sad to say ta i'm still coughing quite badly..arg..e festive's tidbits juz tempt mi..yummy!! heeh..
let's tok abt todae..hehe..okie pp..forgetful mi left my shoebag in e lect threater todae!! arg..i was panicking as i only realised ta 5mins b4 ODAC training starts..i was like thinking,"huh? wat am i gg to do?there's no way i'm gg to rush in my nike sneakers!!" so i was like..running up n down e slopes to look for it b4 heading off to e office. and thk God, after asking e clerk(or watevA) i found it!! praise e Lord!!hehe
ODAC trainin was a lil challenging to mi todae..coz it's a torture for mi to run, sprint, do push-ups n crutches n various exercises since i last exercised in oct 04..ard there ba. arg...furthermore my infected thorat was drying up like nobody's business.it was realli hindering my breathing(coz my nose was blocked).it juz felt so so so terrible.nevertheless, i enjoyed todae's training(nt to forget how furiously i perspired over e 2+hrs!!). tink i'll b signing up for a kayaking cost.it cost mi $55 for a two-dae course..hmm..and hopefulli, i'll b able to go for rock climbing mext fri together wif my OG mates!! hahaha
no matter how sleepy i was during lects n tutorials todae..n how exhuasted i was after ODAC practice, God is still faithful in His promises. He provided e strangth n concentration i seeked from Him specially for cgm tonite.e msg is e third part of 12steps to a good yr..once again, it has impacted mi. questions were left behind for mi to answer to myself n God. everythin is diff todae..felt ta e presence of God was realli there.i realli love singing to Him. it's more than my singing. my heart was singing too..my needs n desires were crying out to Him.. i believe ta other members r feeling the same too.
okie..some suprise calls i received tis week..it realli shocked mi! haha..i juz got a call from ken whu's in m'sia..well, reali glad to hear ta he's receiving his harvest now!! yippee!! e blessings ta u've received is onli e beginning..there's more to come!! trust mi!
-i've been harvesting wateva i've reaped since 2003 till now..i believe in more n greater blessings tis chi new yr n of course, w whole of tis yr! Amen! God is good. =) -
next was a call i received from nick on thurs nite..while flippin thru my econs notes i got tis v v strange call..it took mi quite some time to figure out whu nick was..hahha..has a short but great conversation wif him..well, if there's a chance next week,i might hear from him again. but once again, it doesnt realli matter whu calls.. =)
lastly was a call i received from zhi hao juz now..well,tis is e first time i'm toking to him on e phone tis yr..if i'm nt wrong, ya..tis yr. well, felt a lil straange but everythin was okie la..e conversation was later continued in msn.i'm so glad ta he's taking his guitar back!!yeap!! one more guitar cleared in my room..two more..one is kevin, n the other..i tink it belongs to joachim..dun realli know whu it belongs to aniway...lol
pp..everythin's getting so lengthy aft a week..so i tink i shld juz stop here n take a rest. =)
-my kind of life-
