Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Feeling sad and disappointed after my mum told me that she has forgotten to get me a cake, my mind went blank: an instant darkness came over me. Yes, I just want to sit down at one corner and not even bother about praying to God. After that, I went to check my mail. And Zheng Hong sent an e-card to me. And, thanks lot brother! Becuase that card has reminded me of God's goodness in my life, the plan He has for me and that, He is someone who will not disappoint me. The main picture of the card shows the plan God has for me in my life. 
-my kind of life-
In about one hour's time, the clock will strike twelve and tada! That marks the end of my birthday.Today seem like any other normal day for me. Or should I say that it is a somewhat strang day for me? For many times, I was at a loss to as how to react to the people who remember my birthday. And yes, to my disappointment, a number of whom I was expecting to wish me just a simply happy birthday or a handshake seem to have forgotten about today.There isn't much in particular of a celebration for me this year and no extravagant gifts either. However, every single gift that I have received are, in my own point of view, the best in terms of quality. Yes, my first birthday dinner celebrated with Ray and Feli last Wednesday was defintely great! Thanks lot for that! Hahs. The next celebration came in after service ended on Sunday. The cell group sang me two songs and Shannon prayed for me. Nothing special went on after that. As usual, I went to serve and yeap, my ministry mates celebrated my be-early birthday with a small cake at aorund 11pm at the 24-hour coffeeshop! Lols. It was rather fun though I was drained physically. Hahs. Yes, my morning was welcomed with lotsa birthday messages from my friends. This year has been rather special in the sense that I have never received so much birthday blessings through the sms thingy. I can assure you that at least 20 people did that to me. I was touched by that! Hahs. Okie, the next came the usual grumbling of my mother when I fail to wake up at the time I told that to get me out of the bed. Even after I have bathed, she was still nagging at me. Seriously speaking, I was feeling rather pissed off. Alright, I was thinking that she might have forgotten that it was my birthday but who knows..the moment I settled down to have my breakfast, she start to pop out form nowhere with a red packet in her hands and saying, "Happy Birthday!" to me.School was as usual but my day was made worst due to the extra Chem lesson that really drove me and my classamtes crazy. We waited two hours for the lesson, and the extra lesson ended only 2.5 hrs later, i.e. 5pm! Lols. But, I am grateful that at least I did not get any scoldings from my 'favourite' Chinese teacher. Lols. In fact, De Qi and Yun Jie became my scapegoats for today's lesson. I wonder why too. Hahs.There's actually isnt much for me to blog about because.. I have got no idea what I have in my mind right now. It seems to be going round and round aimlessly.Oh btw, Ray! I know that you will read this post! Yes! Once again, thanks lot for being a wonderful brother all these while in my walk with Christ and yeap, for the present too. Sweet thoughts I would say. =) *My mind needs a compass..*
-my kind of life-
Monday, August 29, 2005
I missed school today. Perhaps the tiredness in me is really driving me crazy. I need more sleep!
Let's just divert our attention back to last night's entry…
Attending service 5 and 6 yesterday "opened" up my eyes. Yes! It has widened my visions and has definitely brought me up to a whole new level of faith! Both of the sermons of services 5 and 6 focused on dreams and visions. I was taken aback when Pastor Ulf told us that he will be preaching on dreams and visions in service 6. In my mind, I kept asking why? Why is he preaching the same word again? Then it came to a point of time that he said that he will preached this message with additional details. Great! And true indeed, he preached by giving totally new examples, events and everything! Though the theme was the same, the details were different! Revelations came one after another as I sat through the service. And these revelations are my future! They are the things that I have wished for when I celebrated my birthday in church yesterday!
Towards the end of both the services, Pastor Ulf prayed for us, selected groups of people of course! And the thing that puzzled me is why did he get the polytechnic students to go down to the stage twice? I admit that deep in my heart I long for his impartation. I long for him to lay hands on me! Feeling disappointed, I have no choice but to stand by the truth that for every decision Pastor Ulf has made, God has a purpose for it. I know it, but when will the JC students ever get to go down? But now, it no longer matter because just by looking at how Pastor Ulf prayed for them, the hunger for me to search for God’s presence in my heart has grown!
Even though Pastor Ulf did not lay hands on me, I was grateful that I was personally prayed for TWICE yesterday! Yes! Two great leaders in my life prayed for my wishes. On top of that, the things that they spoke were somewhat 90% similar! Yes! Double portion of anointing and prayers! I feel so blessed! And yes, both of them touched on my studies, touched on my becoming a great testimony in school and being a light in JJC!
Thinking back, I realise that it is possible for me to do well! It has just been my laziness that has been excusing me from excelling in my studies. Yes, I seem to be making use of God's grace in my life nowadays! I need to commit myself to my schoolwork and studies once again! So that God's grace will even more abundantly in my life though I do not ask that from Him! God sees my effort, and I will keep up to my promise!
Having failed to meet the minimum study hour requirement for the past two weeks, I do feel guilty. For many times, I bombarded myself with questions like, ‘What is happening to me?’, ‘Is this the real Lynn?’, ‘Do not I feel guilty having failed to meet the simple 15-hour requirement?’ and ‘If I can even fulfil such a simple thing, how can my CGL give me more things to do?’
Yes, so this week, I am making a new commitment to study for at least 15 hours (outside school hours). I need to catch up with my Promos revision. Speaking of that, I have yet to mention how embarrassed I felt whenever I meet up with my secondary school classmates. I would say that majority of them are excelling in their studies. Even those who are in JJC, they are all scoring 'A's. Yes, they are the people who got exempted from Promos! And my friends in ACJC and SAJC were simply duper! Hahs. It does feel great to know that they are doing well. But it feels yet another thing when I start asking myself about my results. Yes, I got D (math) C (chem.) E (phy). I even got a E8 for my AO Chinese! Alright, I do feel frustrated over my results. I will work hard and prove you wrong! Lols. And now, I need to make sure that I get at least a D7 for AO Chinese. If not, I can forget about getting into a local university.
Back to my studies..
*This is Singapore, not any other part of the country. Lols*
-my kind of life-
I have alot of things to note on right now in my mind but.. due to the lack of time, I shall postpone it to somewhere tomorrow! =)niteS to all!*i have failed many times but...(you shall carry on the phrase) =D *
-my kind of life-
Saturday, August 27, 2005
"Love gets strong when you give it away.."what does that imply to you? In fact, I am still pondering over the deep true meaning of that phrase. As I walked to Shannon's house, listening to the iPod that I brought along with me, those words struck me out of nowhere. It seems rather amazing for me to notice those words and still remember them. Do not you think so? Love, is more than just an emotional factor in life. It seems to me that it is alive. Sharing love with the people aorund you seems just so enjoyable, but, are you able to do it? For many times, selfishness has creeped into our discrete hearts and displayed the dark sides of human. Yes, I do admit that this happens to me at times. Do this not happen to you too? I am struck with lots of thoughts and words which I find it so hard for me to coagulate together....Flipping through The Straits Times today, there was this one article that caught my eye. Yes, and I settled myself down to read through the article intensely. The article "Time to talk sex in Malay community" can be found in the Saturday (Insight) section. Reading through the problems, I cannot help but to agree totally with the article. Yes, there's even an increasing trend of young Muslims smoking, scolding Hokkien vulagrities and 'hanky panky' with one another.Let's take for example an incident which took place in a train somewhere around this year. I remember coming across this one malay family where the daughter was scolding awful Hokkien words at the parents and there, her mother was laughing at it. In fact, those words are awful as the four letter 'F' word and 'H' words youngsters are scolding right now. The daughter of the family then continued my 'nightmare' by speaking extremly loudly over the phone and having loud conversations with her family members who are sitting right opposite to one another. I do see eyes staring at them, but I reckon that they are bothered by it.No, I did not mean to type that to have a propaganda. It was just another a little insight of my life I want to share with you. In the article, it mentioned about the problem of shot gun marriages among youths and how short-lived it is. Parents are afraid of becoming embarrass upon revealing the truth of the pregencies of their unwedded daughters is a pulling factor to the problem addressed.However, I feel that we should think in a larger premise. Factors like 'why these youths are pregnent in the first place' and 'what caused them to behave in such a way' should be examined. Yes, the worldly desires are sought hard not only by the Chinese, but rather, every single race in S'pore. You can easily find Malays keeping up with the trend by their attire and etc. It is then inevitable that mention that Muslims will attempt to follow the 'modern' trend of getting involved in BGRs and slowly, pre-marital sexual intercourse. As the article has mentioned, the poor grades and the low family income of some groups of Malay youths contribute greatly. On top of that, I believe that the lack of love received by their parents contributes to the problem too.Despite saying all these, it is however unfair to sterotype the Malays in our community. After all, not all youths are getting married now and not all of them get involved in BGRs. I gotta stop commenting over here as I need to have my dinner.. Lols.*I need to think about the world and think for the world..*
-my kind of life-
Hahs! Isnt that interesting?
My beloved cell group! Hey wait! Where's Jess? Hmm
-my kind of life-
Friday, August 26, 2005
Tell me that you are not turned off by the dull colours of my blog! Alright, I felt rather ... after seeing how..'colourful' my blog is. It gets a little boring after staring at it.This applies in our daily lives. If you are living a routine, then you ought to renew your thinking, just as the way I thought of getting a new skin for my blog. Who will ever be interested in reading blog entries that are somewhat similar again and again? Even if you do not get tired of it, I will still be sick of it! Hahs, no offense yeah? This 'revelation' only came when I found myself with just so limited colours to choose of my font!Get a life! Yes! Live a life which you might never get the chance to experience in the future. But always be reminded that fun and excitement need not involve risk! It just require creativity to go about seeing the sights of this amazing world and the innovativeness to doing things. Nonetheless, we should always keep the law in mind! Hahs.*thinking in a deeper level*
-my kind of life-
Thursday, August 25, 2005
"Ahhh," I produced that sound as the strong light shone on my face again. Yes, I am once again back to the dental clinic for my monthly checkup. Initially I was the last patient for the day, however, the dentist's assistant pushed my appointment to evening, between 430pm to 530pm. This time round, I was not feeling as excited as I used to be. Perhaps the fear of her implanting something painful just came huanting me. Lols. Yeap, she added seperators for me and it feels kinda weird. On top of that, she got me to put on rubber bands which are absolutely visible to the people who looks into my mouth whenever I talk or smile. =) Despite the endless pain and tedious duties I have to perform for my braces, a piece of great news was reported to me! Yes, my dentist told me that I can take away my braces in about 4 to 6 months' time. You see, I only starting wearing braces in mid March this year. And the next time the braces are taken away will be in 12 to 15 months later. However, the god progression of my teeth shorten the time between 10 to 12 months! Hahs. I am just so excited! HehsAlright, I am tired right now. Please do remember to pray that my 'A' levels SPA(Sci Practical Assessment) will go really smoothly tomorrow. It will be a physics experiment tested under the theme oscillations. So, once again, I need all your prayers for me. I need to be quick witted and agile in my movements so that I can finish my experiment and calculations earlier. Yeap, the SPA will start at 12pm. Please, I need your prayers. *Falling asleep*
-my kind of life-
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
True indeed, I had a great day today! Praise the Lord. The usual tired me will always fall asleep while reading my bible in the bus and during lessons. I do feel a little guilty about it! Anyway, I took a short nap from 1130am to 1230pm at the concourse today. It seems that I have entered into my own dreamland. Despite my classmates making fun of me, I was still sound asleep. Well, that was what I was told. Lols. And the bell at 1230pm woke me up. Somehow, I just heard it with the ear pieces attached. Hmm.Sensitive ears? Lols. Yeap, I woke up with a one side of the face and my nose red! Red! Yes, RED! Pei Yin told me about it and soon, the rest of the classmates who were present began to laugh at me. Lols. I was rather embarrassed, but it doesnt matter. Hahs.Did I mention that Gp lessons in JC is far more interesting and better than Eng. lessons back in primary and secondary schools? So far, I have enjoyed GP. =)When the dismissal bell rang for me, I headed to the concourse once again. I spent about an hour and a half doing my homework and revising my bible study book. Wosh. I survived. Wait! I did my work in school not because I am guai, but rather because I was 'killing' time! Hahs. Yeap, I had a dinner appointment with Ray and Felicia at JP. And my gosh! They suggested Billy Bombers. I was wondering why? Why that place out of ..so many places in JP? We told a long 20minutes before deciding on our choice of meals and by then, the waitress cant seem to be bothered by us. And we ended up having a hard time getting a waitress to take down our orders. Lols.Yeah! Just wanna say a big thank you to both Ray and Felicia. Com'on, trust me! They are simply the best people I can ask for in my life! They celebrated my birthday over there by giving me a surprise towards the end of the whole dinner. Yeap, Ray ordered a (big) slice of chocolate cake. It was so..big that even the three of us did not manage to finish it. Hmm.. HAhs. It was just so sweet for them to do that for me. Muacks! Yes! I have yet to finish about telling you how great the two of them are! Firstly, the two of them are the people whom I am able to contact late in the night. Despite the late hours and everything, the both of them will still fork out the time to chat with me whenever I call them! They, I must admit, are the people whom I feel most comfortable opening up my life to! I can just tell them anything under the sun and everything that happened in my life daily! Yes! Marvellous! Weeh! Secondly, they are the few people who encourage me whenever I feel sad, or stress. Com'on, who doesnt feel stretched, tied up and tired when exams are approaching? If you aint not feeling that way, there must be something wrong with you! Great people who edify my life are who I look forward to meeting to!Alright, I am getting a little tried now. I need to go and bath and do my personal stuff. NIghts!Oops, btw the 3 of us got a shock at the beginning of Bible study tonight. We were informed that a quiz will be given to us after the end of the class, which is also the last lesson of our bible study level. Yes, the unprepared us got a little panicky. Or, was it me only? Hmm.. 30 MCQs, I would not say that it was tough but rather, like what Pst Ting said, if you have paid attention in the class, you will be able to answer them. Hahs! Just wanna say a big thank You to my heavenly Daddy who really guided me through the paper. Wosh!*smiles and more smiles this time round =) *
-my kind of life-
I am back to normal right now! A new day, a new beginning. Brothers, if you are feeling guilty, do not do so now. It is okie, I have forgiven you all. Afterall, it's meaningless for me to keep my temper at the top! The bible says that an angry man is a foolish man! Yes, I dun wanna remain foolish in the Lord's eyes. Oops. *smiles* I will be having a great day ahead! =)
-my kind of life-
Alright, my english language is terrible, so is my mother tongue. JJC really got me speaking in rojak languages. I hate this! BLAhs
-my kind of life-
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I definitely feel much better after my quiet time. My heart felt so discouraged today. It was, I admit, filled with frustrations at some point of time.Yes, I am angry with people who assume that things will be alright in my life based on this and that. But always remember that someone has once mentioned that assumption is the lowest level of human IQ. I didnt mean to say that but I need to somewhat agree with it thinking back about the SYF incident that happened in 2003. The assumptions that Mr Wong(teacher-in-charge) and Ms Dorean Tan(conductress) were simply too great to be mistake! It is afterall not easy for me to express my needs to others, even when I want to. Imagine the sacasism people comment after you trying your best to give hints to them and etc? To make things worst, they begin to make assumptions which I admit that are not true!Alright, let's just get straight to the point. It is defintely not easy for me to communicate with my 'beloved' sister. Do you think it is easier for her to shout straight at your face or mine? It is of course mine! For goodness sake, we have grown up since young, therefore it is definitely easier for her to shout at me since I somewhat know her character inside out. HEy! I mean her character, not the strange mindset that she carries in life. It just seem impossible for me to read her mind at times. Knowing her needs does help me to get closer to her, but soon after that, it doesnt really help. The tempermental her can treat me like a queen at one moment, while the next, a partner to express her feelings and lastly, punch bag. Yes, I admit that I do not understand why she keeps her voice so loud whenever she talks to me. It just gives me an image that she's shouting at me, and as though I have offended her just by asking her some little stuff. Think about this to yourself: Does she ever scream or raise her voice whenever you ask her a simple question? If no, then that will be good for you! Unfortunately, it doesnt apply to me.It saddens my heart further over the incident last night. After giving ALL(and I do mean ALL) my 'O' levels guidebooks and TYSs to her, I have decided to lend one to my junior. When I asked for it from her, she just gave me a super duper cold reply by saying, "If you want to take, then go and look for it yourself." For goodness sake, ALL the books are in her room ,not mine! How would I ever know where she has placed it! Yeap, that somewhat my reply to her. And guess what? She rebuked by saying, "It's you who needs it leh! Not me, go and look for it yourself la! I put all the books on the shelf what." Alright, I just kept quiet and made my way to the room.. I search throught the whole shelf, including the pile of Sec. 2 books of her, and yet I still cant find it! I looked through a few piles of books on her study table but to no avail. I lwent back to her and asked her where she placed it and she told me that all the books should be on the shelf, if the book isnt there, then..it just mean that it is not there la!! Alright, what a 'great' attitude she had. I had no choice but to walk back into my room and sms-ed my junior that I cant help her. First, I made an empty promise which I thought I could fulfil easily. Second, my precious 'O' levels guidebook/s is/are just lost like that after passing it to my sister. I do feel angry with her for acting in such an irresponsible manner. Third, I was screamed by my younger sister. Somehow, it has hurted my self-esteem. Especially after what Felix told me at the bus stop after the prayer meeting we had earlier.Let's link back to the initial topic. Yes! People around me are ignoring my needs when I am trying my very best to express it out to them. I do feel as though I was an idiot to have done that. IN the first place, I shouldnt even bother. Yes, I did that in fornt of Felix, Ber, Pierson, Ken and Sor. I started by asking where my sister was. Then I commented by asking Felix to discipline my sister. And he started to make assumptions that it might be easier for me to do that since I am her sister, alright, ELDER SISTER. I was practically pissed after hearing that. In my heart , I was thinking, "Oh well, so that's how yu should react? Making assumptions?" I tried explaining things to them, but it got worst. Pierson made things worst by agreeing with Felix. Nvm, I cant be bothered about that anymore. Just by that particular incident and my tiredness, my mood went all the way down. I began to quiet down and soon people started asking why I looked so dao and sian. Alright, I cant be bothered by that. This is me, not them.Prayer meeting pulled my mood up and while praying in tongues I felt so encouraged despite the things that are happening in my CG now. Especially the part after Pst. Zhuang shared a word from the book of Acts. WOsh! I told myself that I must not give up hope on my CG, and on my friends. Yes, I got so excited. At that moment, I was so elated that I kept reminding myself that I want to share that with Ken and Sor after PM so as to encourage them. I looked forward to that. But who knows, things didnt go the way I wanted. Ken started to talk with another brother(whom I do not know) after I told him and Sor to sit down and that I wanna have a chat with them. Sor was reading his bible. Nothing much, he didnt do much, instead I could really see him giving his attention to me. However, it doesnt seem to work. And now, the words are kept in my heart, just for myself. Contradiction stuck me at that point of time. I had mixed feelings. Yes, I am grateful and happy for the words that God has planted in me, but..I wasnt given a chance to speak, to share it.. The question is..Why cant I share my joy? Why cant I share my burdens with the people around me? Why? And more whys!Yes, back to the bus stop after PM. The first 242 was so full that Ber, Felix, Ken,Sor and me decided not to take. Behind came bus 99. I gave it a miss in the hop eof getting onto the same bus with them so as to fellowship with them. However, when the next 242 came, my POS mate, Liang Kai came talking to me. And guess what? The four of them went to the front of the queu while I was still at the back and yeap, they boarded the bus w/o even telling me anything. Oh, how 'great' I must have felt. Yes, not even a bye. The bus got so packed that I started to ask myself if I will be able to alight two stops later. Soon after that, I saw 99 at the traffic junction. W/o a second thought, I chose 99 instead. It was a right choice.IN short, can I say that today is the worst day I ever spent in church? Yeap, the way the BROTHERS treated me, the comments they made and etc really got me down. On top of that, my poor results, my tiredness made my burden so much heavier!Yes, I broke down while walking home. Deep down, I feel that I wasnt being treated righteously. The question I asked myself is, "DO i really deserve all these that I receieved after doing some much for my life?"*Isolate me before I come after you with...*
-my kind of life-
Monday, August 22, 2005
My heart is burdened with the poor results of my papers. But nonetheless, I am still grateful to God that I managed to pass all my papers(currently). One more paper to go, and that's..my mother tongue paper. Blahs. It seems weird for me to get so worried for my paper but.. I failed my class mock exam. Furthermore, everyone, especially the teacher, commented that the mock exam paper was the easiest of all the MOE has prepared. Nahs. I will still look forward to my day!Leaving the school at 1230pm made my heart pumped extremly fast. What would you feedback on a school girl walking around Singapore during school hours? Yeap, that was me! I got the permission to leave the school earlier after blowing my nose off in the morning. The smoke I inhaled yesterday and early this morning at the bus interchange really 'spiked' my nose. Lols. The doctor commented on my sensitive nose again. Blahs. And I am once again back to my regular medication. My mood dampens just when I thought I could declare independence from my medicine! Hmpf.Alright, I had a good nap on the way to Bugis in the afternoon and after seeing the doctor, I slept on my mum's beautician bed in her shop. Was rather a comfortable sleep just that a number of phone calls woke me up eventually. I answered three but..missed out one. A private no. hmm..*Lost for words in my thoughts*
-my kind of life-
Saturday, August 20, 2005
There is just too much stuff for me to blog about! Especially when I have failed to blog for the past few days. A hint might be given to you all that my past few days have been extremly busy! Duhs. If not I would have updated my blog entries daily! Blahs.Wed was Bible study as usual. THe message Pastor Ting preached was in-depth. And unfortunately, that day my mind was totally shutted off. Tiredness came invading my mind and eventually, it distracted me during the lesson. I revised through part of the lesson today and yeap, I definitely got a clearer idea(tgt with better understanding) of what the whole lesson was about. It was super..'chim'. Wosh!Friday was an extremly hectic day for me the moment school ended. I rushed off to Prime market to get CG refreshments followed by walking extremly quickly back home to wrap the presents and do the song sheets. I nearly died of an heart attack! Hahs. Alright, I shall not blog too much about it or else this paragraph will end up very lengthy! =)Cell group sermon has once again prompted me to reach out to the lost, especially to the people around me. My personal testimony has made me realised the wonderful grace and mercy God has bestowed onto me the moment I receieved Him into my life. W/o His endless grace and mercy and unconditioned love, I doubt I will be able to change that much. Hahs. How much I would lke to share with you all my personal testimony, but due to the lack of time, I shall lbog about it again. Before that, why not u, my readers, blog about it in your own personal blog? If you do not have a blog, why not try leaving a tag so that I can get back to you and really get to know about your life? Please..I want to know! I want to know the goodness of God! Tell it to me! =)Birthday celebration for Chow Tee and Net was extravagant I would say. I do not know why, but that was how I felt. Hahs. My dream cake for last year was black forest and this year, it is..noneother than the famous chocolate cake from Awfully Chocolate. It seems a little demandig for me to say that but..I have been eyeing at their cakes for a very long time! *http://www.awfullychocolate.com/*Like what i hav ementioned to Chow Tee on Thursday night, I am like her. I have alot of wants for my coming birthday. However, my needs are greater than my wants. Lols. So..yeap. =)I went back to Tanglin in the morning and met Garyson on Bus 30! Yeap, I had a very short chat with him. That was all. And upon reaching Tanglin, I was so much amazed at how much Kimberly has slimmed down. It must be the stress that she's facing in her studies while in ACJC! Hmm.. Hahs. Gal, if you happen to read this, please remember to take lotsa care of yourself yea? =)Afterwhich, me and Jian Chao headed to JJC to report for our CIP. Flagday! Lols. I used to aniticipate such community work, but I do not know what struck me this time round. My mood was just so low for this CIP thingy and for many times, I was thinking of skipping this. Alright, I did do it in the end but for just one hour. We spent(as in, almost half of the class)1 hour waiting for the bus to go to clementi and we settled down somewhere outside NTUC at 3pm. The whole thing stopped at 4pm simply cause my shoulders were aching. Wei! My bag was heavy okie? Blahs. Then we went to take a rest at Mac and finally left at aorund 445pm or so? In short, we should have about 5,5 hours of CIP since our sign in time was 1pm and sign uot time was 530pm. Lols. The long queue to return the cans back in school certainly has played a part in extending our CIP hours! Hahaha!I was supposed to finish writing my Chinese compo and email it to my tuition teacher by 7pm. However, I was so tired while brainstorming the contents of the compo that I fell asleep. Initally, I woke up at 740pm, but the..hmpf me went back to sleep till 9pm. After which, I got a call from Shannon followed by my brother. Soon after I woke up, I left the house tgt with my sister to JP to have our dinner. I wanted to hav eit so much at Bento but it was closed! Hmpf! In the end, we had our dinner at Fish & Co. It was a nice meal with lotsa variety. Hahs. Enjoyed it alot! =)Now it's 240am, 21st Aug. And I only finished writing(or rather, typing) my chi compo 40 mins ago! Hahs. I need to Zzz le. Nites to all and sweet dreams! God bless you!
-my kind of life-
Thursday, August 18, 2005
I'm back! The past few days have been really tiring to me. The lack of sleep really drove me crazy! Sleepiness struck me in school during every tutorial and worse, it tempted me! I nearly miss school again just because I wanted to rest! Nahs. Thank God that I went to school and lasted through. Well, though I skipped PC(Physical Conditioning, in other words, PE lesson) earlier on! hahs!Before anymore people come and ask me for my feedback on Charlie N the Chocolate Factory, I shall start blogging about it. One thing that really got me pointing my thumbS upwards was the creativity the director and the backstage team of this movie! I was pracitcally amazed at the factory and every single stuff of the movie. The introduction of the show was simply great! The making of the chocolates really pumped me up for the show. However, that was one thing that smoewhat turned me off, and that was the slow progrssion of the scenes. Everything seem to move very slowly and that made me a little tired while anticipating for more exciting scenes. Hahs. But nonetheless, I still love the show!And yeap, I went to watch Wedding crashers on Monday night at PS. A comedy show that really got me and the whole audience laughing our heads off! Hahs. The whole show was filled with energy, and I just cant stop laughing! Alright, I will recommand this show to you if you do not might listening to vulgarities. Lols. Yeap, that turned me off initially, but soon, I learnt how to ignore those awful words and started to focus on interesting scenes of the show instead! It worked yea?Yesterday was a day that realy turned me off in school. Lols. My temper seems to be coming back again. I will not show it but..I need to know why I am feeling that way. Perhaps I am really pissed by the stuff happening in school? Or what? Blahs. Alright, at least I did not feel the way I was yesterday! Great huh? Hahs. I prayed and asked for a brand new day today late last night lehz! HahsGot back my Chem paper. The results were not up to my expection but, I am grateful for it. Imagine crashing the topics of Chem without any practice in 8 hours and getting a C grade(I just need 1 more % to get a B grade!).. Isnt that awesome? Wow! Yeap, I need to feel happy about it.=)*Is that all about my life? Hmm..*
-my kind of life-
Monday, August 15, 2005
Wonderful! Marvelous! Weeh!I did not manage to blog after reaching home yesterday. Well, I gotta rush through my physics revision in preparation for today's paper. (Praise the Lord that Common Test is over for me!) Hahs! I have one small testimony to share! I was panicking last night because I was real worried on whether I was able to finish my revision. I started at 1030pm (after bathing and dinner and etc la..) and I told myself that I have to finish all the 5 remaining topics by 1am. I realised that the more I loked at the clock, the slower I was doing my job. I mean, I was so so so sorried that I nearly broke down! BUT, thank God that I did not! Instead, I spoke in tongues as I read through the notes. Hmm..multi-tasking! =D And yeap, complated everything by 1230am!I could not resist the temptation of the playing the guitar! Yeap, I needed to turn in but..I did not want to. I want to look for God. And off I went.. It was just so amazing that I managed to pick up 'I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever'! I was so excited! Weeh! And I love it, and just cannot stop looking it!Hey, if I did not remember wrongly, I wrote an entry on a recent sunday about me clicking 'Archieves' and reading the entries which I wrote in Oct 2004 yea? I mentioned about worship and guess what? After writing the entry, do I realise that last weekend's(14th Aug) service sermon was on worship! See, God is trying to tell me something. Think I know a little, but if it happens that you all have more views on it, pls pls n pls, do share it with me! Thanks lot n lots n lots! Muacks! =)On to of that, I did mention to you all that Zheng Hong needed my help in looking after a ID(intellectually disabled) person yea? I did not really manage to look after her before the service simply because I had my stuff to do. Initially, I thought that I need not look after her but I was wrong! I was in the hall when the service started. And when worship session was about to end, I found her there in the hall with a worker. She was alone and one of the brothers got her a seat somewhere in the middle of the row with some uncles whom she obviously do not know. I mean, how possible do you think it is for an ID patient to sit ALONE with..well, strangers of the opposite gender? Upon seeing that, I got Jess (who was heling her to stand properly) to bring her over and seat with me. At that time, Bro Jonathan and Sister Krystin had already started preaching, so it was inappropriate for me to walk up the slope and get her a seat together with me. We then took a seat on the steps. As in, the platform just behind the sound console, in front of the stage. It was well, challenging taking care of her. I was at a loss for many moments to as how to take care of her! I even had difficulty communicating with her my friends! Throughout the service, she kept her hands on my laps for support, and leaned on me. Somehow, there was this..this emptyness that I felt in her heart when she laid her head on my shoulder. I wonder why too yea? I got her to sit properly not too long after I realised that she was close to falling asleep! Gosh! It was really tough. There was a few times she shouted in the midst of the preaching. Deep in my heart, fear seem to crippled me, because I was really afraid of getting scolded by the leaders. Somehow, I spoke in tongues after that. And hey! I managed to keep her quiet after that and fear was no longer in me! Amen! =) *Smiles* After she left me, I came to many conclusions. And indeed, I truly take my hats off to the JAMs workers. I used to think that JAMs is no different from Dialect. Afterall, they have got their own problems and we, our own problems. But now, my view has taken a new turn. I admire the workers and espeially to those whose calling is in JAMs ministry. I now understand how great Yu zhen has been after serving in JAMs for so long. And yeap, Felix too. =)Back to my papers this morning. I will not mention anything about Physics but I do want to share with you all what happened to me while I sat for the Chinese paper. Alright, the tired me did not manage to answer the few 'simple' multiple choice questions at the 2nd and 3rd section of the paper. I spent so much time intepreting the meanings of the underlined phrases and fixing phrases into the blanks that my mind went blank. Yes, it literally went blank. So much so that I slept while doing the cloze passage section. But, thank God that He woke me up(somehow He just did, amazing?=) ), I then drank some water before doing the paper again. Things got alot better till the point I went to do the comprehension. I was lost and has no idea what I was reading. However, due to the shortage of time, I went to asnwer the questions after reading the passage even though doubts were surrounding my mind. =) But praise the Lord that He helped me to understand the passage as I answered the questions. It was just so amazing to see how God helps me. I am feeling just so blessed despite having many disapointments in life at times. O ya! Just wanna say a very big thank you to all those who have stood by my side during my exam period. My cell group members were the greatest of all! There sms-ed me late in the night and early in the morning with verses and blessings! Once again, thank you! =)Off I go now! I am going to Suntec to repair my phone and next, Plaza Singapoura to watch a show! Yippee!Btw, I will be watching Charlie and the CHOCOLATE FACTORY tomorrow! Hahs! I am definitely looking forward to that! =)
-my kind of life-
Sunday, August 14, 2005
I feel so blessed! It felt just so great when Chow Tee told me that she liked reading the entry that I posted on Friday night, 12th Aug 05. She began to tell me what happened in her life too and shared a little experience on the situations that she once faced. It touches my heart to see people opening up to me and telling me how my entries can actually impact them. I do really look forward to people writing more about the unusual stuff in their lifes. Oh well, I cant really explain that. But.. just write something! So that I can read it! =)Yes! My birthday is approaching. And one thing that I have realised is that my dream gift always get more and more expensive. That's basically because I am moving on with the times duh! Blahs. Well, I am actually in a dilemma to whether I should ask my Daddy for a laptop, something which I wanted long ago. But... Is that wise? Will that be practical? Furthermore, I have other things which I have to consider. Blahs! Off to church! Weeh! I am serving today! Hahs! Keith(Zheng Hong) seeked a favour from me late last night. Thank God that he remembers me! Whahaha. Later on I'll taking care of an ID(interllectually disabled.Is that how u spell that?) person. Seems just so interesting. My walk with God is not dead!*smiles and more smiles*
-my kind of life-
Saturday, August 13, 2005
I seem just so excited over this new skin! Oops.
Do not you all find the way God speaks to us miraclous? It is so interesting to know about how He speaks to us. There are countless ways in which He simply move and work! Days ago, I received a daily christian mail which reminded me the way God leads us. The verse goes like this, "My sheep recognize my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish."
. The mail then continued by explaining the the verse. There is always a need for us to listen to His whisper, a small still voice that is always following us. But the problem is, how do we hear Him?
Well, we can basically listen to Him speaking to us(literally) during our quiet time. Many times, He also speak to us through His word, that's where our rhema word comes in. The people He has placed around us are not for display purposes! He also uses them to speak to us what He has intended for us! And yes! I want to tell you guys how much He has used the people in my life to 'speak' to me.
Reading the blog entries of my friends and my previous ones has encouraged me to keep on walking in the path of the Lord. Just now I click on the entries which I typed in the Oct. 2004 and the first few entries just stuck my mind so hard! (I cant find any other words to describe le! Please pardon me!) As in, I felt just so blessed reading what I typed. The true meaning of worship just came flowing back to me at that instant. And my desire to live under an open heaven for the rest of my life just..*boom!* It just re-ignited!
Time is running out and to make things worse, my energy level is very low now. How? I have yet to start my revision for my Physics paper on Monday. Blahs! I need the energy and well, willingness to study to! Blahs! Blahs!
*Blahs! Hahaha*
-my kind of life-
Is this new skin nice?
-my kind of life-
Friday, August 12, 2005
Weeh! As I sit down to blog, my heart seems to be pumping at an increasing speed. Nahs! This has nothing to do with the fear caused in this seventh month thingy, but rather, I am feeling very very excited about this blog entry. Somehow, it will be a very special one(at least to me la!).I shall not and will not blog anything regarding my chemistry paper this morning. Hahs.I feel just so great physically simply because I went to jog in the afternoon! There will at least be a reduce in the guilt level of mine after consuming 'tonnes' of junkfood over the past 3 days. As usual, friday nights are reserved for cell group meetings(CGM). Somehow, I felt a little different while doing the song sheet today. The main reason was that there were four songs instead of the usual three. Next, the layout of the song sheet is rather different from usual in my point of view. And last of all, I love the verse that I had chosen! The verse can be found in 2 Samuel 2:50. =)Today's cell group message brought forth many revelations. Most importantly is that the message has renewed my 'dying' mind. Somehow, my faith level has been increased when Shannon preached the word. As she goes along, my mind were crowded with the past victories that God has given to me! Thinking back, it was really a miracle for me. Let's share this..When I was still in Sec. 3, band practices were so hectic that we had almost 6 practices every week in preparation for then then SYF. After the SYF, we, the rising leaders, had to meet up almost everyday to plan events and stuff for the main band and the Sec.1 band. Despite the busy schedule of mine, and the tiredness in me, I still managed to stay awake at night to finish my work and in the daytime to listen to the teachings of my teachers. And somehow, by the grace of the LORD, I was the top 5 students in my whole level! Hmm..Hahs. At that instant, I kept thinking to myself to as why I keep restricting myself from joining a CCA that requires high commitment level right now in JJC. Next, I simply cannot explain why I am no longer perform as well as I used to. Alright, let's just face this. Have I become 'stupidier' or.. are my brain cells beginning to die as I 'age'? Think the main reason should be the lack of motivation and the unwillingness in me to chiong for my studies the way I did previously. Hmm..please help me, Lord!Yes! I do admit that thoughts of backslidding do occur to me. This is especially when I get so tempted by the freedom and time my unsaved friends have! Their burden in lives seem to be so much lighter than mine! For many times, I thought of giving up, BUT the goodness of the Lord just kept me on. I will always remember what Shannon has said while giving me(or us, since she was teaching me, ray, feli, my sis n felix) bible study. She taught me that ALL the trails and tribulations that I am facing right now are what I CAN overcome! If not, God would not even bother to let the devil plan such plots in our lives! Yes, I overcame my previous obctacles, and that explains why I am still standing strong before the LORD! And now, I know that I can overcome my current struggles too! I will hang on! And cling onto You tightly!(Hahs, Shannon, if you happen to read this..Dun you find that a little familiar?) My first love for Jesus happened way back in 1999, when I was in Pri. 5. However, I left God the following year. But thank God!! Because I found my way back into His embracing arms in 2002! Praise the LORD! Like what Shannon asked, where has our first love for Jesus gone to now? The love seems to get weaker at times, especially when I get just so complacent with my spiritual growth. My first love for Him in 2002 was.. quite a sudden one. I know that I have found a love that was able to filled my empty heart of many years, and I was there to receive altar call. But, I was not ready to commit like the way many new friends(or rather, the worldly people) think. Somehow, the commitment thing did not revolve round my mind when I responded to the altar call. The presence and love of God in CHC must be very strong in order for me to forget such stuff. Hahs! On top of that, the love of Christ was so strong that I just went back to service again and again. Thinking back, I remembered trying to 'escape' from service the third week after I joined CHC with the excuse that I will be receiving my scholarship and thus, there wont be snough time for me to change and go to church. Alright, it was indeed a lame excuse. However, I felt so guilty after that because outside the community centre, which is opposite of CHC, I saw lotsa youths standing at the entrance and lobby. At that time, I was asking myself why I was running away from CHC after responding to the altar call? Hey, that made 'lotsa' sense in me, and since then, I promised myself to attend services regularly each week. I had lotsa first love with Him. My first love for Him when I first spoke in tongues, joined a ministry, served the cell group, made sacrifices and everything!Arise and Build 2005 was something I looked forward to when pastors in the church first announced its existence this year. The amount to pledge was certainly a great issue to discussed. But, I was not afraid to give because I recalled the very first time I gave to CHC's building fund in 2003. At that time, I remembered that it was the last 'lap' to clearing the few(just a few) millions dollars of our current church building. As a Sec. 3 student with only $25/week, I decided to save up my money daily and give $50. Well, as a new born christian and a shopping kid at that time made it hard for me to save $10, let alone $50! But, the moment I got the $50 ready, my mother came passing me a red packet with one $50 note in it! It was from one of my relatives who came to Singapore at that time! Wah, even before I gave the money(please do remember that at that time, I had just accumulated the money, not gave!!), my blessings came in! Hey all, what's more is there for you to expect?Whenever I fail in life, God's word never fails to cheer me up. Like what I have always been told and have told others, failure is not fatal. So, let's all learn from the mistakes incurred in the failures and stand up strong again! For..a winner never quits and a quitter never wins!Back then when I joined Dialect Church as my ministry, I had no idea why I joined it and what was the reason behind me joining it. Somehow, I felt that I joined just for the sake of..joining. Duhs! But, things began to have a new turn when I attend the dialect services and help out in their preparation for the service. From there, I have learnt how to serve the Lord, which is equal to serving His people. For the bible states that the way we treat our brothers-in-Christ will be the way we treat God! Seeing the smiles of the elderly attending(most of them are old i age!!) the service opens up my heart. And it serves as a constant reminder for me to continue serving God and His people with my smile. =) Even till today, I am experiencing new encounters with different elderly and all these open up my thinking of this world. Serving God is adventurous!All these examples just flashed past my mind when Shannon was preaching in cgm earlier on. Isn't it amazing to see how colourful God has painted my life to be? I am so excited over the greater extent of goodness He will be bringing into my life in the future!Hahs! Alright, I got penalised during CG's games time! And my 'job' was to sing the tune of 'Happy Birthday' with only 3 words, who, what and har?. And the lyrics in each sentence on the birthday song must be different. It was rather a fun experience! Despite the confusion of thw words, I still enjoyed singing the song for the pleasure of my cell gorup members! Hahs!*a word in season is here to build me up*
-my kind of life-
Thursday, August 11, 2005
This morning's paper seem to upset me a little, but who cares? It is already over! Think I must have worn myself out during the 2.5hr math paper earlier in the day..That's why I took a nap in the afternoon till..3pm? Oh well, before that I was playing guitar. And yes! I slept with the guitar lying on my body! -.-"! See! That just shows how tired I am recently!
I feel just so sleepy nowadays. Of all my days, I wonder why this only occur during one of my most crucial period. Oops. Alright, I still have about 40% of my revision to go before I can 50% prepared for tomorrow's Chem paper! Hahs. I will continue running the race and yeap, I promise to run with more enthusiasm. =)
Time check: 930pm.
*I love the way I am now!*
-my kind of life-
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
I wonder why I feel so sleepy revising through my math. nothes. I fell asleep again and again. The next moment, I went digging up french fries and stuff in the fridge to eat. Why sleepiness out of so many other stuff? I am gonna knock you down with my hammer! POng poNg poNG!! I will buy a biger hammer when I meet up with my Father tonight! You stupid devil! Blahs!! PionG piOng pIong!! I will hit you hard!
*Driven by madness..*
-my kind of life-
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
It is defintely hard to keep myself away from worldly distractions! Yes, it is. Peer pressure..and more is yet to surface! Arg.
Nahs. I do not blame them for creating such an uproar in me, but rather, I do feel bad rejecting them again and again. LolS.
I am not free! And I will not be free till 15th August is over! Now, just stay away from me. Blahs! :D blahs n blahs!!
*I seem to be behaving like a child again!*
-my kind of life-
Monday, August 08, 2005
The feeling of serving Him brings forth more than just a sense of fulfilment and joy. I am beginning to view this whole relationship with God in a different aspect. Festival of Praise (FOP) opened up a pave which I have never seen before, let alone walking.
Ever since the first night of FOP, I felt that God is more than just a best friend in my life. He is more than a God to me. He seems to be my lover. My life-time partner whom I want to cling on tightly to! Someone who I really give all my love to. When singing with Delirious towards the end of the service on Friday, I literally felt myself pouring out my love and showering it onto Him unconditionally. I did not regret and will never regret! This was the assured feeling that I received from heaven. I am going deeper into His love.. I want more, and even more of His presence!
*I am thirsting for you*
-my kind of life-
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Excited?Worried?Joyous?Hyped-up?Sad?Disappointed?Or what?
Oohs..That's exactly the way I feel now!! Yeap, mixed feelings basically arouse due to the many different events that are occuring in my life at this particular time! Everything seems so rushed to me! But I will hang on. I will do it. I need Your strength! Come to me! Come to me as I take a step towards You!
Festival of Prasie was an eye opener to me, like what I told Maria(my ministry leader). In short, I enjoyed the whole service and yeap, I am bombarded by many afterthoughts. I shall keep my mouth shut regarding this matter or else critisms will shoot toward me again!
I like the gentle yet tangible presence of the Holy Spirit in the stadium. Well, it is true that the presence is not as strong as our own church services in SIS, but nonetheless, I can really feel God moving in me...
Ho! I bought a new CD! Delirious? YEap, that's it! My sister bought 'Cross' and we will be sharing it! Wosh! I like this this and that! I like the songs and everything!
Ahah! After the whole service, me, my sister and Mr. Wan went for supper at Newton Circus! Blessing after blessing! He paid for our cab trip down to the hawker centre and treated us! After which he sent us home! Hahs! Hahs! Hahs! I feel so so so blessed! On top of that, I have learnt many stuff! Thinking back, it has been a very long time since we chatted..
-my kind of life-
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
I spent more than an hour in Popular today with Ray just to get the materials! Well, was quite tough to think of the materials needed and at the same time, improvishing our idea. Lol. Felicia PS-ed us coz she went to acc Yvonne. I will not blame her cause she at that time when we were conversing, had already given her promise to Yvonne. =)
As usual, I attended bible study with Ray and Felicia. The lesson was nonetheless great and impactful. I could really feel the whole presence of God falling slowly but steadily on me the moment I sang to Him during worship. I focused on the words spoken by the worship leader and immediately, I felt so different! Yes, the Holy Spirit was moving around the room. If you aint a Christian, you will definitely catch no ballregarding what I have written. And if you are one, yet you are still feeling rather confused, please go and read the bible! Especially the book of Acts onwards!
Had syncronised prayer in church as 10pm approaches. This time, Kynneth joined us. I thank God that we prayed in church becuase the presence was strong and tangible. I could literally feel God landnig on me the moment I spoke in tongues at the beginning of the prayer session. Everything went well and great! Definitely great! While praying, I felt the Holy Spirit touching me very gently at my back. And at the point of time, I felt so much encouraged in my heart and spirit.
It is true that I am struggling with many activities right now. I am sick physically, and yet I refuse to lighten my burden somehow. And at the same time, I feel so much burdened over the friends that I have pledged and promised to reach out to. Deep down inside, I was feeling so afraid. I need a shelter. A roof that can covers me when rain comes over me. Yes, I found the roof! He came the moment I prayed. I felt so much much better the moment I spoke in the name of His. I am recharged! And am ready to continue this spiritual warfare! You devil, watch out for me as I come equipped from head to toe! I am going to stamp you and make sure you get trampled by me into powdery form! Whahaha!
It seems so evil of me to say that, but who cares? He does not even deserve to come into this world and fight with us when my God is a living and victorious God! Amen!
Quote of the dae:
1 John 1:4
"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world."
-my kind of life-
Monday, August 01, 2005
My walk in life is always new and full of challenges. It is tough, but I enjoy it. For many times, how I wish that I can just quit school now. There are just so many things that I cant wait to accomplish! Yes, I have great dreams for my future.
Time written: 12.31am. Nahs.Nahs.Nahs.Nahs.
-my kind of life-
Oh please! I have fallen sick again! I cant believe this!
Please, my dearest cell group members, if you happen to read this, I urgently need your prayers. My nose...is 'running' again! I am surrounded by more and mre pieces of tissue paper. Arg!
I love His people. Being with them makes me feel so much different as compared to me walking in this world. His presence is greatly desired in my soul...
-my kind of life-
