jus me with God

Saturday, February 25, 2006

It feels so great to have blogged once again! To me, this blog account is a place for me to express my views somewhat freely. Most importantly, my aim of this blog is to impact people who read my entries. A blog entry should be more than a report of your daily life...

I went to a hawker centre beside Boon Lay Shoppng Centre to have my dinner with my father and siblings. On the way there, he asked if we would like to have Nasi Lemak despite me telling him how much I want to stay away from Nasi Lemak earlier on while we were at Bugis. He was giving praises to the Nasi Lemak stall, and somehow my sister just had the itch to eat it. To her disappointment, the stall was closed! Hahs. But to our amazement, on the way back to the carpark after finishing our meal and our trip to a nearby NTUC, we witness a queue outside the famous Nasi Lemak stall before it even opens up for business. The queue was approximately 7 to 10 metres long. Do not ask me why the stall opens so late because I have aboslutely no idea! Hahs. But, I realised one thing: the food must be very nice, if not it would not attract a bee of people over there even before its opening hours! So you all who love Nasi Lemak should really go over there!

I have just finished a report which I have to hand in for Dialect Ministry. Well, some things were screwed up last weekend and I have to bear part of the responsibility and give a clear account of everything. My time IS so tight that I actually brought my laptop out and typed the report on the way to fetch my mother home. And now, I still have tonnes of homework to complete! To make things worst, I just cannot answer the tutorial questions correctly! This certainly frustrates me to the extreme! Arg! I need more of God's understanding and wisdom to be with me! Pray, pray and pray!

*And off I go! See me soon in two days' time! That's the earliest I can guarantee =) *

-my kind of life-

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Greetings to everyone! I am still smiling and giggling whever I can! Hahs. I must really say well done to all JC graduates who have survived the 'A' Levels. After reading my friends' blogs and seeing the faces of my classmates daily, I can depict their stress level. To make things worse, problems belonging to the heart keep appearing in the lives of my close friends. These problems doesnt necessart refer to the BGR kinda stuff I would say because I think many of my classmates are too busy for that. But, the lost of valuable; important objects have surfaced among my classmates. I would not mention much but one thing I know is that all these events are unpredictable. We, not only you, must all learn from all these lessons.

As a friend, I may not be in your shoes experiencing what you are going through now, but I can assure you that I understand how you feel. As a normal being, I am certain that what you are going through now is either something I have been through it or am going to face in the near future. You see, nothing is ever new under the sun. So I believe that when you feel that you are going to be driven crazy by the stuff revolving in your life, there might actually be someone out there who is waiting for you to share your problems, carry your burden and even be there to bring you through this moment of 'crisis'.

I am just that someone, waiting for everyone to regard me as someone part of their life... It does not matter who I am, but what I am to you does really matter.

Building up trust with someone is tough and it requires time. It is just like my relationship with my Father in heaven. When I just accepted Him in my life, I find it hard to pray to Him and to share with Him the problems and worries of my life. But as time passes by, and as I begin to build an intimate and trusting relationship with Him, things changed! My life brightens up and all of a sudden, I am learning to open up to the people around me! Yesterday, I finally had my Quiet Time after a long battle with my daily tiredness. I had it not because I stopped feeling tire yesterday, but it was because I planned my time and the things that I would like to do the moment I reached home from school.

As I spoke in tongues, I began to share with Him the issues of my life. The next moment I realised was that I could not stop sharing with Him! I just talked and talked. For one time do I realised that I actually have got so many problems in my life, but surprisingly, I did not express my sorrows outwardly in front of others. Praises should all really go to my Father in heaven who have strengthened me every day and helping me to conquer one mountain after another.

I have lightened my burden and one thing is that I felt so secure in my life when I walk with Jesus. Life is no longer filled with uncertainty for me because Jesus Christ is there to be the solution for me in every situation I face!

One example is my Math Vectors lecture test today. Frankly speaking, vectors is a very dangerous topic in my point of view. The chances of you making a mistake in every few steps of working is just so high! On top of that, questions can be twistered easily hence making everything tricky! I am not trying to exaggerate how tough this topic is but rather, I am expressing my areas of weakness in this topic.

I was extremly worried yesterday for myself because this test seemed like a killer to me. And just last week, I failed a spring test for Vectors. I was so worried that I kinda broke down while sharing my problems with God. But the more I chatted with me, I felt my worries diminishing, and the next moment, I started to tell God that I believe that I will do well. And that as I do my paper, all formulae will come back into my mind calmly. I even prayed for a 90% A grade!

I do plan and pray over my plans. For every test, I lifted it all up to God and asked that God's grace will help me to achieve an A grade with a certain percentage. In my pevious Math and Chem test, God did wonders for me by allowing me to As. Wow. And today, everything just went so smoothly for me. I could do all the questions and felt kinda assured in my answers. Let's all wait for the good news that God has done in my life!

One of my new year resolutions is to be prompt in handing up my work. I am somewhat reaching there. I am going to hang on! =)

*Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya!*

-my kind of life-

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Tonnes of homework is waiting for me! Wosh..I need to take a breather.. Woo Ah Woo Ah..

Hahs. I have never expected JC2 to be so hectic for me. And now, I am really trying bit by bit to be on task for my work though I am lagging behind by a little. Off I go!!

*If you love me, and you care for me as a friend, say a prayer for me because I love you too! And I have prayed for you! =) *

-my kind of life-

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Finally I went to have a dip in the swimming pool this afternoon. I have not swam since the last 2004's Emerge conference where I was required to.. Hahs.

The weather was fabulous this afternoon! And the moment I step out of the swimming complex (NOT swimming pool) it rained! Hahs. What really mattered was that I finally had the chance to fellowship with my sister! The fellowship was great and I know that God is really working in my life in the area of my relationship with her.

Through our conversation I realised one very important truth. Ever since I accepted Christ Jesus as my LORD and Saviour, I have received tremendous grace from Him and favour from the people around me! You see, things went really well for me in secondary school. As an out spoken person in class, no one really objected to any of my speeches which I had for with the teachers.

For example, I used to be the first to comment about the heavy homework load of the class and would often request from them to reduce it, and surprisingly, many supported me. Hahs. That does not seem to be a very strong support. The other one I remembered clearly was in 2003 when our SS (Social Studies) teacher asked if we would like to order the Giordano's 'I love Singapore' T-shirt. Knowing that the T-shirt was awful, I immediately told her to save her effort because no one would want to order that T-shirt without even asking for the class' opinions. It came to me very sudden that everyone kept quiet and nodded their head. Woah! But in the end I got a trashing from her for being not supportive of my country's national day stuff and etc and she even commented me for being rude to have made that comment without seeking the thoughts of my classamtes. LOLS! Despite of all my mischievious acts and the many scoldings I got from many teachers, I still enjoyed my 2003 then. Hahs

In Sec 4, I remembered how my class supported me in whatever activities I organised. We had a unsuccessful BBQ at West Coast Park in the June holidays, and I tried holding another BBQ in Dec despite the failure. Surprisingly most of them turned up and kinda enjoyed themselves! Hahs. This was the kind of support they gave to me when I was still back in TSS! What great friends I have!

Now in JJC my classmates are the ones who brighten up my day when I am tired. They are the pushing forces for me to attend lectures and lessons which start in afternoon. On top of that, they are kinda entertaining too! Hahs.

I continued chatting with my sister and many stuff were brought to light today. I brought myself into the realm of thoughts. And all of a sudden I got a revelation in the midst of Pastor Zhuang's preaching earlier on at the combined CGM, Ignite.

A person who keeps learning the WOG (word of God) but do not apply it in their lives, even after a period of time, is like a seed that is frequently moistured, exposed to the sunlight and fed with quality fertiliser and yet does not grow. How is that possible when the required conditions are already present? It is simple, because the seed is dead! That explains why it does not even sprout out when quality conditions are provided! Dear friends, if you are not applying the WOG which you have learnt in your life, and are often hard headed to the feedback of others- refusing to heed the advice others give you and do not ponder about why people comment about your specific areas- you make no difference from a dead seed!

It hurts me alot to see people wearing a mask in front of people of higher authority and revealing their 'demonic' self to others around them. I can tell you that such burdens my heart even though these people whom I know are not close to me. The one thing I can do is to pray for them..

*Praying continually..*

-my kind of life-

Friday, February 17, 2006

Everything's simply going great for me daily though certain activities do drain my energy.

School is getting fun for me as I enjoy myself more and more in the company of my friends. Hilarious stuff just keep happening for no reason! Hahs. I do enjoy seeing the laughters of my classamtes and it certainly bring joy to me whenever they smile and get together for a time of fun!

Just in case you guys are not sure, as a CCA-less student in JJC, my only friends are a few church mates, a few OG mates whom I am 'close' to and my classmates. It sounds kinda pathetic as compared to the vast connections of friends I used to have back in Tanglin Sec., but I do not mind. Afterall, I am able to keep my focus in building wonderful relationships with my beloved classmates instead of widely distributing my time to go about spending minimum time I can with every single one. After quality matters more than quantity! Hahs!

I seem to be getting tired easily nowadays. The moment the clock strucks 10.00pm, my eyelids will start to shut. I am really glad that I finally have the chance to hug my bed for more than 8 hours tomorrow! It seems ages since I last laid on my bed for more than 8 hours!!! Hahs.I am certainly looking forward to a peaceful sleep! Yippee!

Reading a book is not my habit. I take more time to finish reading a book as compared to others. Since the beginning of the year till now, I have finally completed 2/3 of the 'big girls dont whine' book. I admit that I have learn alot just by reading that book. It helps to set the platform for me to mature my mindset and how I should respond in critical situations and etc. I am definitely enjoying the book! And I will complete it! Yeah!

~~~Lalala~~~

-my kind of life-

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Sweet belated Valentine's greetings to all! =)

Hahs. I was busy mugging the moment I reached home yesterday...

I had a great celebration early in the morning yesterday with my classmates after our PC (aka PE). Many of them were sweet to have gotten little gifts for me and the rest of our classmates. A bunch of guys from my class were the greatest of all! They ordered flowers for every single lady in my class! And of course, that included me! Hahs. Things were as pernormal later in the day. However we did not feel dreadful in any way though our lessons end only at 4pm every Tuesday. Hahs. And after school, majority of us missed the opportunity to celebrate that special day together due to the 'major' Chemistry test today.

It was rather history breaking when my Chemistry tutor, Mr Azmi, applauded us for our 10th position as a class in the whole J2 Chemistry cohort in the previous test. And with that elated news, we unofficially announced that we are aiming to be ranked top five today's test. It was rather interesting because my class has been well known for its playfulness last year. Our results were not great either and often, we are the top 10 from the bottom. But those are all history! I am glad that we have had a great start in our Chemistry and are all so enthusiastic to achieving our goals in this test.

It all started when Thomas, my classmate, said that we should all work hard for the top 5 positions. Initially I thought that was just a passing remark of his since he has always been playful, but never did I know that everyone took it seriously and mugged hard for today's paper. No one objected to us working hard together in going toward our goal. I am touched by that. Things are seriously great in my class! And, I mean my class, not JJC yeA? Hahs.

I do not care how JJC is progressing because I have never like anything much about this college. Rather, it is 05S19 that I love!

Alright, I am going to get everyone in for a belated V day's celebration this Friday after our excursion in Chinatown! Hahs. Wait! I am not excited over the Chinese tourism course that requires us to make a trip to Chinatown and Little India. But it is our class gathering that I olook forward to!

To end this, I want to thank everyone who have played a part in brightening up my day yesterday, including my dentist when I went for my appointment. Lols. Btw, today's Chemistry test was smooth sailing for me in general though I have made a big mistake by leaving a question that constitutes 10% of the marks. Nonetheless, I really would like to give my greatest appreciation and thanks to all those who have kept me close in their prayers yesterday and even days before that! =) On top of al these people, God is who I want to give praises to! Wonderful miracle working God! =)

*If you believe, you will achieve.*

-my kind of life-

Monday, February 13, 2006

My classmates have always liked to ask me this question: Why are you always so busy? Have to rush away straight after school to settle your stuff...

Hahs. I admit that I normally leave the school in a rush the moment the last school bell for me goes off. But there are times when time is really running tight for me, and that explains why I hardly stay back for late lunches at JP with them. But nowadays, I do try my best to be part of their group whenever I feel that I can. But nonetheless, I still fail to make full use of my time when I am home. On top of all these, I seldom sleep sufficiently and I certainly hate this kinda feeling to the core! Arg...

Hahs. Anyway, I am just blogging out of fun. Hehs. Off I go to settle my work! Weeh!

-my kind of life-

Sunday, February 12, 2006

My future lies in my hand. Likewise the way I behave depends on the way I think.

I know that at times I am straight forward in my speech and words and have hurt people who heard those words without me knowing it. I am sorry for that. But I do not deny that I do speak the facts at times. Facts are afterall, sometimes cruel. We just cannot change that way facts present themself. However, facts can be viewed differently by various people. Whether something is viewed good or bad ultimately lies in the hands of the seer.

I can say alot, but my words will bring me to nothing if no action is carried out. Today, I do not want to present myself through words, but rather by my acts. A greater period of transition is waiting for me...

Wendy from Dialect Church (DC) commented on my blog entry regarding the stuff going on in my class. I agreed partially to what she spoke to me while serving today and on the tagboard. However, I still reserve part of my views despite what others say. But, my opinions are based on the facts which I witnessed to.

I listened to the testimony of the CG member and I aspire to be like the CG member whom she has mentioned. A JC lady (we are not longer girls please!) whom faced somewhat the same situation that I am in now and how she managed to experience a breakthrough in her class and CG in the number of friends.

At the end of the day, God is not going to look at what we owe in life when we all reach heaven, the only thing He finds in our heart is just one word: Faithfulness. I will always keep in mind how God spoke to Shannon about me during CGM. Yes, in this coming year, God is going to test me of my faithfulness, and I am going to step out of my comfort zone to serve Him.

In BS, I have learnt that our faithfulness can be seen through our fruitfulness. And well, I mean being fruitful in the area where you have been faithful in. =)

*I certainly need more understanding and courage to go about solving situations in my life..*

-my kind of life-

Saturday, February 11, 2006

God's wonderful. I do not inforce my faith onto other people around me, but I do feel kinda disappointed when my friends start telling me that they love God, that they want to attend church but yet they are not willing to attend any church to know God even more, to understand God more and be taught to love God more than you are doing now...

You see, I should not be disappointed at all, because it was not my blood that was shed on the cross on Calvary some 2000 years ago. Instead, the blood was willing shed by Jesus Christ, God's own Son!

And now, I want to make a new commitment to myself that I wan to love God more, to apply the knowledge that has been passed down to me. I need to crucify my flesh. For countless times, I have been compromising with God. And I certainly do not feel comfortable with it. It is my responsibility to meditate this to myself!

Oh yes, I am speaking to myself. But hey, at least I am sharing my views in the aspect of my daily life! =) God, I am running back now!! Catch me!

*Compromise and you will suffer its consequences!*

-my kind of life-

Thursday, February 09, 2006

I want that O2 PDA!! It's so cool and wah!! It's the phone that will not go out of trend! Hahs..

http://seemightyatom.com/

-my kind of life-

For once I am troubled by my friends in school. It has been long time since my secondary school days where I got misunderstood and lost the company of my close friends except for my dearest Melissa Yeo. Oh well, that seemed ages ago! And I am glad that everything is cleared and it's fine for everyone now! =)

All I feel is that the hatred for a particular someone in my class is getting more and more intense. Many times, I do feel sympathise her till an extent. I also tried speaking up for her in the bus today as we got involved in the topic regarding her. But it all seems to me that... ...It will be tough for the rest of the class to get on good terms with her. Afterall, no one in our class is really in any form of close relationship with her.

I personally have not experienced much 'attacks' from her but she seems like a nice and harmless classmate. However, there are many things which I do not understand and it seem to me that everyone is blaming her for her 'legalistic' acts in school when she sometimes hardly set a good (ideal) example for us.

Everything started last year the moment school term started for me in JJ. The tension felt by everyone seems to be an accumulated one. Now, even my bubbly Yun Jie, and all forgiving and gentle Angeline and Pei Yin do not seem to really be able to get along with her... I am all so confused. I want to help her. Giving her a new chance and helping her to understand the classmates better is what I desire. But, how should I go about doing it?

My acts to help her will certainly sparked gossips and even tension between me and my friends. It certainly risks my own freedom in school. I need some guidance!

*My mind's so filled with the worldly problems! Shugs!*

-my kind of life-

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Everyone seemed so restless in school today. Somehow, my classmates did not laugh much, and I did nothing much in school today. I see most of the people struggling to attend lectures and lessons today. And to me, this did not seem to be the case for my class. Hey, I did not mean that my classmates and me enjoy lectures and tutorials alot. But what I was refering is the atmosphere which my classmates usually have while walking to venues for lessons.

I missed school yesterday as I was sick and headed to see my specialist. But little would I know that so much had happened in a single day that I have missed out. More than half of my class skipped the brilliant GP module idea which the GP department of JJC has came up since I do not know when. In this plan which they have thought of, students are allowed to choose a topic which they are most interested in out of all the choices provided. They would then evaluate the response of the students and group students from various classes into a single class of about 20+ people for a 2-hour tutorial.

At the end all of day, students are still required to attend all the module choices given by the teachers. The thing thing that differs is that time which we take the course! The GP combined class, to me, is a lame waste of time. A stack of notes is bought during our first lesson and everything the teacher-in-charge did and said were practically straight from the notes! The teacher whom we are assigned to are often no difference from a stranger to many of us. As a result, not much communication occurs during the 2-hour lesson. I do not know what your view point is, but I personally feel that it will be much better to interact with my own GP tutor than a 'stranger'! Hahs

Alright, it should be time for me to divert my topic before any controversy strucks in the GP department! Hahs.

School is still a challenging place for me to be in. No, I am not worry about the results orientated society in JJ, or even in Singapore. I am just challenged to be on task in the assignments given to me. The work load seems much more than what I used to have last year! On top of all these, I still have to handle things that are going on simultaneously in my life. In the bible, God says that I am the head and not the tail! And so, I believe that I will be able to be on task in my work ASAP! Let's say, by this week? Hahs. =)

I went home with Jian Chao and Jie Sheng (my classamtes) today. Due to the lack of seats in the bus, Jie Sheng sat at a seat quite a distance away from me and Jian Chao. I began chatting with Jian Chao to see how yesterday was. The conversation was then once again on the hot topic in our class, i.e. the ponning of GP module yesterday. Just in case you wonder why it is such a hot topic, it is because the teacher-in-charge of a particular class which 8 of my classmates are in discovered the truancy of some classmates and reported that issue to our GP tutor and CTs who were shocked and raging after receiving the news.

I asked Jian Chao if he skipped the class yesterday and he replied no. He told me that his module, Science and Religion, was interesting. And yesterday the class watched a clip on the Adam and Eve. Big bang theories like Adam and Eve were created through a period of evolution were given as conclusions of our existence. He asked me what I had to say and I strongly disagreed which such a big bang thoery. Big bang thoeries are no different from conclusions drawn by man after much thinking and assumption without hard evidence. I told him that it is God who created them. Whether man believe in God, the creator of man, or big bang theories depends alot on his belief.

If Adam and Eve were to really be created through evolution, why then do you not see anything transforming from one species to another over a period of more than 4 thousand years ever since Abraham lived? And if you really do believe in evolution, do you believe that human beings can be tansformed into something else just as many have believed that monkeys are the 'ancestors' of us? To me, big bang theories are no different from myths made up by human beings who want to satiate their curiousity.

What an argumental point I have over here. Hahs

*Back to my work now... =) *

-my kind of life-

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I boarded a bus today and the moment I found a seat, I started to heard a little girl singing. She sang throughout my journey on the bus. After finishing a song, she asked her maid, who was with her to bring her home, if she sang well. Before her maid could feedback, she started singing again. And this occurred for as long as I was on the bus. She was enthusiastic and was moving up and down as she sang.

One thing I love about her is that she sang non stop, proclaiming the lyrics of the song loudly on the bus and she enjoys wha she was doing. And you know what? She was singing kids' songs created for the Lord. I heard words like 'Jesus You are my light'. I felt so much at peace.

At the moment, I realised why Jesus in Matthew 19:14 'But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." '

We should let little children surround our lives as they begin to bring praises to The Lord with all their heart. In Matthew 18: 3-5, Jesus mentioned about us being children, who should be humble. Being a children is what Jesus want us to be: To be fearful of Him, not daring to do things that are against His will. And at the same time, love Him with all our heart, mind and soul without any distractions from the world.

I want to be like that little girl who proclaims her faith in Christ Jesus loudly, not afraid of any criticism.. And also to love God will all I can.

-my kind of life-

Monday, February 06, 2006

Hi everyone! Hahs

Oh yes, I am feeling just so great! (Though I am dead tired!) Just wanna share with you all what has been going on in my mind currently...

I have just 'embarked' on a book titled 'big girls dont whine' by Jan Silvious. It was my birthday gift, but I only had the time to start on it recently. Hahs. Aftering reading several chapters, I have certainly learnt countless wonderful things!

One of the things which not only apply to me but also to everyone out there in the world is that as a big girl, one will know what she is called to and what she is good at. Unless she is called to do something, it would be unnecessary to try to strengthen and train yourself in an area which you are weak and are not called to. For example, unlike my sister Sarah, I myself am not very good at singing. She sings well, but knowing that I am not called to be a singer, I should just sing the way I am doing now and strengthen the areas which I am called to be doing.

Knowing what you are called to, and what you should do are very important. It will saves time and bring you straight to where you should be instead of wasting your time and money!

Okie, I shall stop this. hahs! Off I go to study! Lols

-my kind of life-

Saturday, February 04, 2006

My mind's so filled with the events that are happening around me!

Provoking thoughts are inevitable since I have a well working mind. Hahs. For many times, deep inside my mind I would ponder deeply over an act of someone or an incident with lotsa conclusions for myself. But I seldom share them. I will never know how offensive those remarks I made will be since I am not the one whom I have pondered upon. I admit that I am not perfect, and I do self reflections occasionally. It does work in making a better person as a learn from one lesson to the other.

But that is not what I intended to blog on!

I had a wonderful CGM last night and before that, a walk around Telok Blangah was certainly great! During CGM, I felt that God was speaking to me through Shannon. The words that flowed out from her seemed to be what God was telling me! I mean, it somewhat applies in my life!

On our very first CGM of 2006, I remembered Shannon praying for every individual who attended CGM. Her prayers for me was the shortest of all that she had said for me. Though short, the prayer was impactful.

I want to bring my relationship with God to a higher level, but there are certain times when I get defeated by the devil. I gave in, and lost the battle. You see, attacks by the devil is appearing at every moment. I keep telling myself that I want to do this or that, but it somewhat never did come to pass due to my complacency.

As I thought about all these, the word faithfulness came rushing back to me. Shannon prayed for me and mentioned that this year is going to be a tough year for me because God is going to test on my faithfulness!

Everyone knows that God is the one whom we will praise and whom we want to be with when things are going well for us. But the question is how many of you will cling on to God and continue to believe in His promises when things start going haywire?

In your darkest moment, it is inevitable that you will start to doubt God. I am sure the devil will make use of that opportunity to shake your faith!

Even for me personally, I have been tempted by the devil in several areas.

Things are moving in a different dimension for me this year. It seem to be a total different one. I cant bring it out through words. But God is the best witness I am able to find. I am beginning to do things which I have never though I can. I felt so stretched, so expanded especially when I am taking my 'A' levels this year.

Perhaps, the road o sitting for such a tough examination is stressing me out. Hahs. Oh well, do keep me in prayers.

-my kind of life-

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Happy new year!

This year's chinese new year's holidays have been extremly great for me! Despite me spring cleaning my roomonly on the eve and first day of new year, I enjoyed myself! My shelf certainly look much neater and my study table too!

The main theme of new year is nevertheless revolving around fun! Hahs! Everything went well for me thorughout the first 3 days which I went house visiting with my parents and friends. One thing that I am really grateful to my faithful God is that my money intake for ang baos has finally increased! And it has increased beyond a level which I have expected!=)

On top of that, safe trips from house to house is what I want to thank God for! Havn't you read today's The Straits Times issue which reported on 4 death accidents that have occurred in only a short span of 3 days? Wah! The figures are certainly high as compared to our accidental statistics.

Before I close, I do hope that everyone is enjoying themselves as I have and not to forget to take extreme care of yourself after the consumption of the new year goodies! =)

*School's challenging for me... Worn out but not given up yet!*

-my kind of life-