Sunday, October 10, 2004
"As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
Where shall I come and appear before God?" Psalm 42 : 1 - 2
Yes..i'm thirsty for the presence of God. Lord..i realli need you..now, i'm all lost n confused. whY? recently..my temper has changed for the worst..i've got no idea to why tis occurred..perhaps..stress? or..is it coz i'm tired of the pp ard mi? i do not know why..in my heart..particles of fear are present..y? yes..i'm feeling guilty too..for all e sins ta i've committed..may i juz lift them up and pray for Ur forgivness to land upon them, Lord. and now..i totalli hav no idea to wat i'm doin now..*totalli reluctant to share wif pp*.. toking to pp u know is not equal to toking to pp u totalli trust..e feelin, e atmosphere, the topics and etc.. r all totalli diff..juz felt so lonely..and sad..*in my broken heart*
Hide mi now
under ur wings
cover mi
within ur mighty hands
Chorus-
when e oceans rise
n thunders roar
i will soar with U abv the storms
Father U r King over the flood
i will be still
know U r God
find rest my soul
in Chirst alone
know His power
in quietness n trust
i juz felt so..i juz felt ta i am not myself animore. recently, i experienced mood swings. and yes, i hav been slackin all dae long when all my clsmates r busy mugging for their 'o's. wat exactly is wrong wif mi? there's one thing i realised..and..i wont share it..coz it is real real real personal to me..hey guys, u can forget abt pestering mi for the answer. Trust me, ur effort will be futile.
when i was younger, i remembered myself thinking of positive phrases to brighten up my life. Personalli, these hav played a wonderful role in leading mi to cheerful and worry-free life alomst every single dae. As i began to grow, i discovered myself diverting my attention to mani other matters. So much so ta i didnt hav e chance to quiet down n lead myself into deep thoughts. whenever i tried doing it now, mani unhapi and hurting past me memories will flash back. i felt so hurted n worried ta my mind no longer thinks in peace.
todae, i'm still not feeling veri well. my headache still exist..but..not as bad as last nite. but, my tummy wasnt in a veri good shape. i dun feel good walking abt, but thk God ta i'm still able to serve Him todae. =D intended to leave earli todae..in e end, i left church at 8+ pm. coz my parents was takin their own sweet time to fetch mi and head towards giant..okie..daddy!! i told u le..i didnt mean to spend so much de..mummy n leon bought quite alot of stuff too k? okie..no matter how i hard i try to explain to him.. his mind was set on deducting my one week's allowance..crapz..lucky my mum is still supplyin mi majority of my allowance..heehee..okie..ta's abt it..nuthin much..
nitez.
-my kind of life-
