Hahs. Life seems to be a mystery to me. For many times, I thought that I had known my life well enough. So much so that I assumed that everything in life is just the way I expect it. But no! Living on this world will never be a routine, neither will it be the same as before when you have received Jesus Christ into your life!
*changing direction* Hahs! School seems to be a struggle for me. In my own pair of eyes, it seems to me that university life will definitely be much better than that in pre-university years. It may be due to one news article published in The Newpaper last year that brainwashed me. If I am not wrong, the article mentioned something about scrapping off Junior Colleges and having only polytechnics and universities. Am I right? I cant remember much of the article. But one thing that kept lingering in my mind is that the 'A' levels certificate is worth nothing itself. It just serves as a 'VIP' pass to get into the university if we were to mention about 'snatching' for places in the univerisites. From that time onwards, I seem to be stuck with a mindset that it is a waste of time for me to study in a JC since the 'A' levels certificate seems so insignificant when I enter into the working society some years down the road. Furthermore, it was reported in the news some time ago that in the near future, out of every 4 student intake in the local universities, at least 1 of them wil be from poly. Woah! It does give you a glimmer of hope if you are a polytechnic student interested in getting into a university in the near future yea?
Yes, I do sound very confident of getting into the university. But, do you ever wonder why? That is simply because I know where I am heading; where my final destination is.
Alright, afterall, university life may not seem as easy as it is after I have read about the struggles Rou Xin is going through right now. It seems to me that no matter where I go, there will definitely be things that obstructs my plan and spoils my mood. In short, the devil just loves to get into our way no matter which direction we are heading towards. Reading through Rou Xin's blog's entry, a question struck me: "Will I end up regretting university life just as the way I feel right now after I get into a local university?"
For many times, university life seems to be a holiday for me. Everyone seem to be going through everything just so easily. But, you(including myself) will never understand the stuggles of the undergraduates' lives till you have experienced it.
Hahs. There is a need for me to focus on my life in JC at this moment. I need to love my life in JJC, if not, life will get more and more miserable for me. Lols. In JJC, I feel like a wandering soul simply because I do not belong to any CCA. Although CCA is no longer a must in JC, I just do not seem comfortable with the thought of me being CCA-less. Hahs. Perhaps, I should get myself an external CCA in order to make me feel more secured in JJC. Lols. The CCA day(every friday) is simply killing me! Lols. *hints* I miss Tanglin Band, and well, a little on the saturday mentoring stuff. Hahs.
No matter how bad life seems to be going, I am still able to live my life happily! Hahs. There are times when I just cannot stop smiling at myself. Oh no, not myself, but to the LORD! It may seem to others that I am behaving like a lunatic, but not to God! I know Him, He loves it whenever He sees His children smiling at Him without any worries. For many times, He has taken away my worries and burdens. Solutions can come flowing to me without any reason and problems can just be solved by itself all of a sudden. Yes, you may not believe it but, it does occur in my life. Let's take for example.. Ideas on decorating/making something. Based on my narrow insight on life, it is almost impossible for me to come up with multiple great ideas on making cards, decorating my room and etc. But for many times, the ideas just come to me, one by one without any hurry, so that I can remember them.
Even till now, my mind is bloated with ideas. Yes! There are just so many things that I want to do in my life but I am somewhat limited. I have a dream for my future. And through that dream, a vision has birthed forth! I know what I want for my future, but does God approve it? If no, there must surely be a much better plan that is able to let me shine as a light much brighter in this world of darkness! Hahs!
Back to CGM today.. I must really admit that I am not putting in enough effort to read through CG sermons. Despite the definition of blessed being mentioned to us TWICE, I am still not able to remember it. And today is the third time blessed was defined. The excited me kept thinking that being blessed = blessing others, which is = speaking good of others. Hey! That's part of its definition according to what I have learnt in Christian Lifestyle almost a year ago. However, in exact, being BLESSED (not blessing others) simply refers to us being empowered to succeed.
Yes, I want to excel and leave a legacy in my short 1.5 years in JJC. But the question is...how? How can I do it when I have left my CCA for the sake of serving God more in the CG, and when I am slacking and not performing well in my studies? After a long consideration, achieving As for my subjects is definitely not going to help much though it will contribute in a little part of the future legacy that I have been eyeing for. As for this, I do really need to ask God for guidance. When I have gotten the answer, I will definitely remember to share it with you. As to the question of when, it depends. After all, the bible states that everything has got its own time and season. So, we shall wait and see which part of my life will God plan for me to share this with you. Hahs.
As I was chatting with Kynneth, a question bypassed my mind: "What is your purpose of setting up a blog account?"
As what I have answered to him, I am very clear of my purpose in setting up this blog. It is not easy for me to open up my lives to you, be it whether we know each other. It takes lots of time for me to think and plan for each entry as I want to present every entry in its best form, hoping that it will somehow change/impact someone's life. And next, it requires courage for me to type it out. Blogging is as good as exposing the bad side of my life to you! Yes, it is tough for me to blog about the bad stuff that I have done and the sins that I have commited in the past. But, I did type and publish it out for you readers to see. I certainly hope that you have learnt something from my mistakes. On top of that, I want to let you people to know how much God matters to me since He has first given His one and only Son in exchange for my sinful life.
It is written in 1 John 4:19 "We love Him because He first loved us,"
For this reason, I am willing to lay down my life for Him. And for this reason, I seek for more of Him in my life!
*lotsa different and exciting activities are revolving round my life!* -my kind of life-
