I will be ending my work contract soon, and I definitely need some rest. Not only physically, but mentally too.
Attacks are just 'arriving' one after another. And what I seriously felt over the past few days was that my life keep taking the left turns instead of the right one! Hmpf, i.e. wrong turns.
I doubt anyone actually understand how I feel deep inside me. At times, I do really feel out of place though I belong truly to a group of people. Awkwardness and intimidation certainly cripple my heart.
Walking along an endless stretch of valley reflects the situation that I was previously in. For many times, darkness surrounded me, such that I was not shown any ray of light that could direct me. It practically seemed like the end for me; totally lost forever in the realm of darkness.
However, things took a turn after I attended the prayer meeting at Singapore Expo. It was a slow transition, but a powerful one. Even then, I was still attacked by negative thoughts, and also, things which I have never thought of.
Yes, I nearly broke down because I just could not understand why such situations occur to me again and again, without even giving me a break. I felt so low, there was not any difference to me being step and 'crushed' by the so called giants of my life.
Seriously speaking, I need time to digest all that are happening in my life at this moment and also, a few weeks ago. My mind is still revolving many things which I have yet to seek any understanding. No, I do not want to follow after someone whom I do not have any relationship with...
It seemed to be all of a mess but after I prayed to God yesterday, what I personally felt was tht my spirit is catching up. Slowly but assuredly, I will pick it up, but there are many doubts that I want to clear. Many, many, and many more... ...
