Not too long ago, I blogged on the issue of me battling with endless challenges of this world non stop. And now, I am beginning to feel the peace of God and the encouragment that He has promised to provide to me as written in the Bible.
Cell group meetings are simply great! Gathering with my cell group to leanr God's word and to praise Him is simply wosh! WONDERFUL!
I must admit that I was totally blown off today after CGM ended. The presence during the meeting was so tangible and I practically felt the warmth of the LORD embracing me tightly!
Yes, I am lost..I am down..I am disappointed by the things of this world. I kept asking myself..why why and more whys endlessly! I just do not get the point why am I always the one doing this and that? And why am I always the one to get scolded at? And why should I be the one carrying the burden for others and to make room for them in my life when I already have so many appointments laid up?
Feeling unreluctant, and unwilling to give in simply made me angry. But I will always remember a verse in Proverbs that says that an angry man is a foolish man! I tried to calm myself down, but to no avail. I prayed to God and asked Him to ease my anger. But it did not help either.
God did not answer my prayers not because He did not hear me asking for Him help. Neither was Him not in the right position to calm me down. But the whole problem, which I realised, lies actually at its root, which is my heart. I can say all that I want, pray all that I want and think to myself that I want to calm down, I do not want to be angry. However, all those thoughts and sayings will never ever come to pass unless I am first, willing to let everything go.
I realise and understand that I am mean what I pray. I must be willing to let go of all my anger, my frustrations and hatreds before God can do anything to me. Friends, it goes the same to as..How can an event takes place in your life unless you first willingly gave access to it?
At the end of the day, the core of everything in life still lies with my heart.
In life, there are many things which we have dreamt of accomplishing/owning it, but..the problem is whether these dreams happen? In life, we are given the liberty to dream all that we want, but in order to let the dreams come into real life, we need to do something to our life. Changes will have to take place in order to make space for the dreams to enter into our lives. But, we must always be careful of what we dream of because, the kind of dreams will lead to the kind of changes we made to ourselves.
Changes that are made solely based on our own desires for our own luxury will slowly lead us to a changed person who might be money minded, selfish, and well, materialistic and etc. Vice versa, if you have a dream that impacts other people's lives positively, you will slowly realise yourself leading a life much more optimistically in order to influence others!
It seems strange that I have actually derived to such a conclusion because all these came instantly to my mind as I typed. All I wanted to write in the first place was to thank God for His wonderful love in my daily life and somehow it leads me to using this generous love of His to love others the way He loves me... -my kind of life-
